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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

Mental state: just googled “When will the sun explode.”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I’m looking forward to tomorrow. It’ll be much like today, but different enough to confuse me.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

The secret to a good marriage is that it’s all about give and take. Giving each other frequent back rubs and ordering lots of takeout.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Saying “Hmmmm” when my boss walks in so he knows I’m thinking about stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

My keyboard must be broken, I keep hitting the escape key, but I’m still at work.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if it’s AI or an immigrant, I desperately need someone to take my job, it’s killing me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,415

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Just shared via Messenger:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Making waves on Facebook:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Telling your parents about your problems is like adding another problem to your life.

Just landed via TikTok:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Seen just now on Instagram:

Babies invented being in a bad mood for no reason, and they continue to innovate in the field.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Breaking via Messenger:

I don’t like who I become when I’m watching someone Google something less efficiently than I would myself.

Seen just now on TikTok:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Just landed via Reddit:

All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.

Gonna eat birthday cake all day because it’s someone’s birthday out there, and we’re about to celebrate together, stranger.

Playful quote about indulging in birthday cake all day to celebrate strangers' special day.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a delicious plan! 🎂 Why not turn every day into a cake-hunting holiday? Let's celebrate some stranger's birthday calories! 🎉😂

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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20 shares on Discord this month:

I was going to do some yoga today, but had a donut instead.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

62 shares on Snapchat this month:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

12 shares on Telegram this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

46 shares on Threads this month:

I wish flies spoke English, so I could say, ‘Hey, if you don’t leave right now, I am going to kill you so hard.’

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

66 shares on Reddit this month:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

66 shares on Discord this month:

My daughter’s new Bluetooth karaoke mic has suddenly and mysteriously disappeared, and we are all just so, so sad that we can’t find it.

100 shares on Reddit this month:

When I was a kid, they played lame music for middle-aged people in the supermarket, but this morning at Whole Foods, it’s now all amazing bangers from my youth.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Wolves are just dogs that nobody has called a “good boy” yet.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I have entirely too many new bruises for someone who isn’t getting laid.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for a cauliflower cake, and I reported them for harmful content.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalize talking to people in the gym who have earbuds in, they love that.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The older I get, the more I hate making extra stops after work. I drive home like I’m late for the house.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The voodoo magic of a tranquil night’s sleep

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Wait, some of you are actually seeing for free? No glasses, no contacts? Wow!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A micromanager is someone you pay to watch your top talent walk away.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 8 billion people in the world and I only have 3 friends, and one is annoying.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,546

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Who needs therapy when you can just cry in a fast-food parking lot.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Turning to the person next to me and saying “thanks for nothing” as I get off the train.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Normalize responding to work emails with: “What the hell are you talking about?”

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via YouTube:

They should invent a relationship that doesn’t turn into the worst experience of my entire life.

Breaking via Discord:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Breaking via Threads:

My favorite game is to guess if my headache is due to dehydration, migraine, malnutrition, stress, lack of sleep, poor position, or a brain tumor.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Patience is something you admire in the driver behind you, but not in the one ahead.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Trending via X:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Spotted on YouTube:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Making waves on Instagram:

I only trust people who give off unemployable energy.

Making waves on YouTube:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I think something’s missing in my life… Like… 2-3 million dollars.

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