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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

That awkward shopping moment when someone is standing in front of the items you need and you pretend you’re shopping for something else because they just won’t budge.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

“Treat yourself. You deserve it,” she says while adding the shoes to her cart.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Good news: I set an all time high today! Bad news: It’s my cholesterol.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

ADHD is when you buy a blender and then make smoothies every day for 2 weeks, and then never make one or even acknowledge your blender ever again.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

ALF is what happens when you are high on drugs in the 80s.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

“How would you describe yourself.” Me: I absolutely would not.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,752

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I’m at the age where drinking a cup of coffee now makes me feel like Popeye scarfing down a can of spinach.

Just landed via Twitch:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Nothing says, “I love you,” like an echo chamber.

Live now on Pinterest:

Do you also watch porn until the end to see if they end up getting married?

Making waves on X:

Every day is a D-Day, if you’re a stutterer.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Just landed via Instagram:

I’ve broken all my New Year’s Resolutions so now I’m moving on to laws of nature.

Just shared via Reddit:

The web is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.

Breaking via X:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Fun fact: sexual tension is more fun than the sex itself.

Good news, I just decided I don’t care about anything anymore.

Playful quote about letting go of worries with a humorous, carefree vibe.
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Commentary:
Just joined the "zero cares" club, where every day's a holiday and the dress code is PJs! 😂🎉🛋️

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

57 shares on X this month:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

67 shares on Reddit this month:

Twitter sucks so much, but randomly there are such funny tweets, so I wait, like a frog, for one delicious fly.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I be like, “I needed this,” and it’s just me getting drunk.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The most expensive clothing you’ll ever wear is a hospital gown.

100 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Of course your crush is going to leave their spouse for you. That’s how delusions work.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Worst part about job hunting is knowing you don’t want one.

19 shares on Slack this month:

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

85 shares on Slack this month:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

81 shares on YouTube this month:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here doing an epic air-drum solo to ‘In The Air Tonight’.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

This can’t be the same brain I was using to read 750-page novels in 3 days during middle school.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever wake up from your dreams impressed? Like, damn, that narrative structure was phenomenal.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Age range on my dating app set to 40+. Y’all fighting over grapes while I’m drinking wine.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Have kids so you can live in a house full of people who can’t find anything.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not starting a presentation with “ladies and gentlemen”, I’m using the gender neutral “to those who heed my warnings”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,667

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Don’t judge me on my likes, I’m confusing the algorithm.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I have absolutely no desire to stay in the loop.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Peeling a sweaty sports bra off counts as aerobic exercise, right?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My workout is reading in bed until my arms hurt.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has viewed:

Picking up women at the bar and then gently setting them down.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Not using emoji while texting is my way to show that I’m serious.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

And is this “year-end bonus” in the room with us right now?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Laptops become possessed with slowness when they see that you are in a hurry.

Trending via Discord:

My greatest flaw is that I will try any specialty lemonade. 90% of them are nearly undrinkable, but I persevere.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m experimenting with how many apples I need to eat a day to keep everyone away, whatever their profession.

Just landed via YouTube:

Future generations will never have to live in unprecedented times, because we’re precedenting the Hell out of everything right now.

Going viral on Facebook:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Trending via Instagram:

Toasters aren’t governed by that little dial. They have free will.

Seen just now on Discord:

The world was better off when street gangs settled things with choreographed dance battles.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, but also a little grumpy.

Just landed via TikTok:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

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