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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

Whenever someone tells me how well behaved my kids are, I say it’s cause they’re not at home.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I hate to break it to you, guys, but my husband says you’re not real. He just called you my imaginary friends.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

I often wonder how men could discover entire continents. Mine can’t even find the butter in the fridge.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

I’m only here to test your patience, but like, in a sexy way.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Dogs are like chicken nuggets; every time I see one, I want it.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Crashed my car reading a billboard that said, “Don’t text and drive.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Christmas is the season of giving, and I’m giving up for good.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,308

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I’m at the age where I see a huge, beautiful mansion in a movie and think, “How much does it cost to heat that house in the winter?”

Seen just now on Twitch:

I ordered a new umbrella on Amazon and had it delivered straight to the lost and found office to maximize efficiency.

Broadcasted on X:

When someone asks me what my dream job is, it’s just like “I don’t know dude, I don’t dream about jobs”

Just landed via Telegram:

Overthinkaholic!

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Making waves on Discord:

Sometimes I clean my room so dramatically, it feels like I’m erasing evidence.

Going bananas on Discord:

Whoever first said, “It gets to a point,” was definitely at that point, and I feel them deeply.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.

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Googling “effect vs affect” in an incognito window.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Oh, the eternal struggle of effect vs affect – a clandestine Google quest for grammatical clarity! 🕵️‍♂️💭 Judging by the incognito window, this grammar dilemma might just be too scandalous for the regular search history! 🕵️‍♀️🔍💻"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine hating me and I don’t notice.

86 shares on Snapchat this month:

The worst thing about being an adult is that you have to be one every single day.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

They say money doesn’t solve all problems, but it will surely solve all of mine.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Every morning I wake up and think I have a hangover, but then I realize I didn’t drink, and this is just how I feel now.

24 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate when I’m typing away, expecting autocorrect to have my back, and I look down and just see awjdbdmkskan.

99 shares on Telegram this month:

All I care about is being financially stable and getting sexier.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

23 shares on Snapchat this month:

Never eat more than you can lift.

98 shares on Telegram this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

19 shares on TikTok this month:

I had a sex dream last night that felt so real, I’m just gonna go ahead and add it to my body count.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people don’t have a permanent handwriting. It depends on their mood and the pen they use.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Very confusing that gross pay is before tax. I always find the number way grosser after tax.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every night, millions of teeth go unbrushed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I like driving by myself. I just played the same song 36 times.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,247

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Your soulmate wouldn’t do you like that, by the way.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

Accept who you are. Unless you’re a serial killer.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Trending via WeChat:

Hello taxi, off to Friday please. Money doesn’t matter!

Trending via Pinterest:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Just shared via Reddit:

If you have gray in your beard, you can hit it.

Just landed via WeChat:

Airbnb should have an option if you just want to use someone’s bathroom for a few minutes.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Live now on LinkedIn:

I do not like FaceTime unless we’re best friends or I’m in love with you.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Marry someone the same size as you to avoid decades of annoyance adjusting the seats and mirrors in the car.

Spotted on X:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Just shared via WeChat:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

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