Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I actually think it’s quite beautiful that you have to be the one to save yourself.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

I haven’t lost my virginity because I never lose.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

4 out 3 people struggle with math.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Porn is free, so why are you in my DMs?

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,733

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

A girl can casually just say something, and you already know you’re not going to date or marry her.

Just landed via Slack:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Just shared via Messenger:

You don’t know a person until you’ve seen them eat popcorn.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

There should be 1 day a month without commercials.

Going viral on YouTube:

Exercise gives you energy, but you need energy to exercise. Sounds like a pyramid scheme to me.

Just shared via TikTok:

If you see me out running, you should run too, because something is definitely chasing me.

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Perfect advice for avoiding the dreaded 'School of Hard Knocks!' 🎓😎🔧 #StayCool"

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

0

2 months ago

absurdity, cake, existential, food, humor, i, imagine, know, nothingness, rice, rice cake, still, taste, thanks
‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

0

2 months ago

alone, die, dying, existential, going, group, humor, life, okay, project
I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

0

2 months ago

alien, call, culture, humor, humorist, i, joke, movie, movie joke, parody, pop, pop culture, sci-fi, term, xenomorph
I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

0

2 months ago

dating, ghosted, humor, investigator, paranormal, relationships, resume
I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

0

2 months ago

beverage, coffee, humor, morning, neighbor, strong, wake
My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

0

2 months ago

acting, clips, humor, listening, me, meetings, online, reel, video, work, Zoom

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Facebook this month:

Sometimes uncontrollable laughter is all you need to get the millions of thoughts out of your head.

91 shares on Slack this month:

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

34 shares on Threads this month:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

97 shares on X this month:

I really don’t get enough praise for someone who doesn’t need validation from others.

15 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Always stay crazy. Otherwise you’ll go crazy.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Fasted for 72 hours and gained the ability to whisper to bats.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

18 shares on YouTube this month:

Teach a man to fish, and he will eat for a lifetime. Teach your kid about stingrays, and he will pretend to sting you all afternoon.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

Migraine so bad you develop powers like superhuman hearing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Let’s draft everyone who has their phone on military time first, since you’re all so eager.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

That feeling when you take the first bite of your favourite food, that’s called chewphoria.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Interviewer: So why do you want this job? Me: I don’t. I just need money.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Pretty messed up that my body, a chemistry lab made of meat, simply chooses to make me feel a little bit nervous for no reason.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

I enjoy long walks in the woods, but only because there’s a chance I’ll get eaten by a bear.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Men be like: I would love the opportunity to give you the bare minimum.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I don’t know the difference between “gray” & “grey” and I’m too scared to even ask.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I wish companies would use pictures of models looking frazzled and exhausted on their websites, so I can get a real idea of what their clothes will look like on me.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Why is 4-8 p.m. on a Sunday the most depressing time ever?

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

These days I just accept the website cookies without any protest. Website is like Grandma, I’m not gonna fight with you.

Just landed via Messenger:

Sometimes, before bedtime, I fall asleep on the couch. It’s my little sleep appetizer… my nappetizer.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I think my type is a nice person.

Seen just now on X:

I don’t understand how some people find love several times in their lives. I first have to find someone who doesn’t get on my nerves.

Live now on Slack:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Just landed via Instagram:

The best thing about living with my parents is being woken up four minutes before my alarm to be told my alarm is about to go off.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Thanks to rice cakes, I still can’t imagine nothingness, but now I know what it tastes like.

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

I don’t like to call it a xenomorph — I prefer the term “the alien from Alien.”

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨