Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Why don’t straight men and lesbians hang out like straight women and gays do?

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

I am AOL Instant Messenger years old.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

My favourite thing about waking up at ridiculous o’clock is the solitude.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Sex is great, but have you ever had your alarm go off and then realize you don’t have to get up today?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

I was going to warn my kids about the repercussions of drugs and alcohol until I realized that they in fact were the repercussions of drugs and alcohol.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Have you tried making guacamole about it?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,602

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on TikTok:

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Trending via Twitch:

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

Breaking via Discord:

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Spotted on Messenger:

Instead of studying, I like to stay on my phone and worry about how I’m going to pass.

Just landed via X:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Broadcasted on X:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

Trending via WeChat:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The older I get, the more I respect Sleeping Beauty. She took one look at the world and said, “Nah.”

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
"Perfect advice for avoiding the dreaded 'School of Hard Knocks!' 🎓😎🔧 #StayCool"

advice, avoid, avoid fool, avoid tool, being, cool, fool, graduation, humor, lesson, life, life lesson, slang, stay, stay cool, tool, wisdom

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Facebook this month:

Whoever said money can’t buy happiness, clearly never paid for a divorce.

21 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I can understand why chickens wake up and scream.

89 shares on WhatsApp this month:

At my age, getting up early just means that I had to go pee, and I couldn’t hold it anymore.

16 shares on Pinterest this month:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

76 shares on Reddit this month:

Name a better duo than sad and depressed.

12 shares on X this month:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

People who get 0-5 likes at max and still tweet all the time… What’s your secret?

83 shares on Slack this month:

Sounds like you are suffering from a lack of vitamin Me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

Called in, “Let’s make this simple. What excuse haven’t I used yet?”

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Which one of you shrunk all of my jeans?

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

I don’t even know what the Transformers are fighting about, to be honest.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Someone needs to invent a kid that listens the first time.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Spotted on YouTube:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Trending via Reddit:

The only thing we need to bring back is duels.

Live now on WhatsApp:

My therapist should also do my nails while we’re talking.

Going viral on Instagram:

The year number is getting too big, let’s do another Jesus soon.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Just shared via TikTok:

Wild Friday night, and by wild, I mean me and the other psychopaths at the gym.

Seen just now on X:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Just landed via X:

I feel like a credit card, cause I’m constantly being used irresponsibly.

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Activity Log ✨

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Slim Shady implies the existence of Thicc Sunny.

Pretending you don’t notice people staring at you is a skill.

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Where do I sign up to be one of those influencers with 2M followers whose whole thing is just standing in front of other people’s content and nodding?

When I watch hockey, I pretend they’re fighting over the last Oreo.

Can you imagine how hot I’d be if I ate right and took care of my body? I’m not gonna do it, but can you imagine?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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