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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

It should be socially acceptable to just face the wall at a party when you need a break from talking.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

When I die I want people to say “Hmm, I didn’t know you could die like that.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Misses Claus only married Santa because of his big sack.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

I’m so high at Home Depot right now, and I have to ask where the hose at. And I know I’mma laugh when I do.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Can you delete that photo of me? It looks exactly the way I look in real life.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

What was the name of the boat in Titanic?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Discord:

People in their 20s be like, “This is my emotional support master’s degree.”

Just landed via Snapchat:

Starting your day with an early morning run is a great way to make sure your day can’t get any worse than it started.

Just shared via YouTube:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the same bill I couldn’t afford to pay in a different color.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I saw a spider crawl under my kid’s bed and was too tired to go after it, but that’s okay, no living creature can survive that environment.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Salt and pepper shakers add an air of mystique to any bathroom.

Going viral on Telegram:

My wheelchair keeps making a screaming noise when I run over people.

Breaking via YouTube:

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

Going viral on YouTube:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I’m so single right now, I can’t even spell relayshaunship.

Going viral on TikTok:

If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

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Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.
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Commentary:
Just like having a fork in your pocket doesn’t make you a chef! 🍴😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

If a woman says she’ll be ready in 15 minutes, she will be. No need to remind her every half hour.

86 shares on Threads this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

78 shares on TikTok this month:

Marriage is for life. But when that was first said, life was shorter.

87 shares on Facebook this month:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

No pre-workout, just flashbacks of stuff I let slide.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Never forget that your fave celebs were trying to sell you cartoon monkey pictures during a pandemic.

11 shares on Discord this month:

You don’t have to remember details when you don’t lie.

21 shares on TikTok this month:

I know I just ate a snack, but I could really use a snack.

48 shares on Twitch this month:

I really want a family… sized bag of peanut butter M&Ms.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The reward for doing really good work is more work.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I have a headache, I take 2 aspirin and keep away from children, just like it says on the bottle.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My cat smells like cigarettes again and I’m sick of his excuses.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love Queen and David Bowie, but why did they steal that riff from Vanilla Ice?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Somethіng wrong іn your lіfe? There’s a nap for that.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You can add tears while cooking if you don’t have salt.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love convincing myself iced coffee counts as hydration and self-care.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t need to learn something new, I need to remember something old, like why did I come into this room?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,530

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Jesus Christ. I haven’t seen a meltdown like that since Chernobyl.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’d rather lose you than the argument.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Note: Press the button on the elevator as often as possible to activate the secret express function and speed up the thing.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t about being “fixed.” It’s about being your therapist’s favorite patient.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Facebook:

Wait, making the right choices is an option?!

Making waves on Threads:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Just a reminder that with Die Hard, Robin Hood and Love Actually, ‘Alan Rickman ruins Christmas’ is a whole movie subgenre.

Just landed via WeChat:

This year should be named “things I never thought could happen”.

Just landed via Discord:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Going viral on Telegram:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Just shared via Messenger:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Seen just now on Threads:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

Trending via Instagram:

If you tell lies about me, I’ll tell the truth about you.

Spotted on Facebook:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

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