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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

You didn’t let me know you got home safely so you better at least be injured or I’m gonna be pissed.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

The male urge to tell you what business used to be located there back in his day.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If the earth was flat, many people would have already jumped off it.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I’m really looking forward to eight hours of thinking about sleep tonight.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Memories are a bit fuzzy – but regrets? They’re in 8K and Dolby Vision.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

26 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Sorry, Mom, I can’t go outside, I’m ugly.

Making waves on YouTube:

I wish I loved exercise as much as I love napping 3 times a day and eating 5 times the suggested serving size.

Spotted on Instagram:

Ruining the Olympics for my fiancée by, every time they mention Paris, saying, “that’s where Ratatouille lived”.

Making waves on Messenger:

Dear everyone. Upset, bored, angry or hungry. I’m here for you. Sincerely, fridge.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Spilling hot coffee on your lap wakes you up faster than drinking it.

Trending via Facebook:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Seen just now on X:

How many jokes about lightbulbs does it take to change us?

Seen just now on Pinterest:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

6 months ago

Having a crush on someone is just having a lack of information on someone.

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Commentary:
Ah, the notorious crush – a perfect cocktail of feelings and mysteries! 🕵️‍♂️🤔 It's like detective work for the heart, where the case file is missing crucial details! 🕵️‍♀️🔍 Who needs Sherlock when you have a crush to solve mysteries for you? 😄💘 Just remember, the more you know, the less crushing it gets! 📚🔓 #CrushInvestigation

attraction, crush, feelings, having, humor, information, just, love, misunderstanding, relationship, someone

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

815 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,977

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,977

26 minutes ago

3,439

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I’m not saying I’m messy, but if Copperfield knew what I can make disappear, he’d be jealous.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

To get my cat to eat, I tell him about all the hungry cats in Catfrica.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Don’t fall for me — I’ll treat you right, and you’ll get bored and cheat.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Nowadays you don’t even have to go to the zoo. A trip to the mall is enough.

Just landed via Twitch:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

It’s Friday. I ran out of small talk on Tuesday. Please leave me alone.

Just shared via Messenger:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Live now on Pinterest:

If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Shared recently on Discord:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Just shared via Instagram:

Nobody flirts better than a girl with zero interest.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Trending via Facebook:

Just blocked a guy for accusing me of being “all talk”. On Twitter.

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