Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Going through life with a signature I invented as a teenager.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

First date idea: we walk around a graveyard and guess how people died.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

Forget being the bigger person, I’m going to just start barking at people.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

In retrospect, I guess “one drunken night of stupidity” isn’t the best response when a child asks you where babies come from.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Do you say “Excuse me” to your pet when you walk by them, or are you rude?

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

I totally understand those uncles and aunts who don’t attend gatherings.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The only way to forget the mistakes you made in the past is to make even bigger and graver mistakes in the present.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I’m saving money on rent by moving into an abandoned cobweb.

Just landed via Discord:

Please don’t ask me what my hobbies are, I lost interest in life back in 6th grade.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Trending via WeChat:

Took the road less travelled after buying the sat nav less expensive.

Seen just now on Reddit:

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

Just shared via Pinterest:

One day you’re young and carefree, and the next you have a favorite stove burner.

Just shared via YouTube:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When family gatherings start feeling like a parent's scheduling app! 🤔📅😂

adult, custody, divorce, family, Funny, having, humor, mom, parent, parents, sibling, siblings, today

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

0

2 months ago

activity, coworker, coworkers, friend, friends, fun, fun activity, hang, hang out, stop, work, working
When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

0

2 months ago

40, age, birthday, growing, growing up, humor, i, kid, nostalgia, older, say, turning, turning 40, wanted
Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

0

4 months ago

actually, fun, humor, irony, know, real, yearner, yearning
What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

0

2 months ago

captcha, human, humor, image, images, irony, light, lights, select, technology, traffic, traffic light, us
If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

0

5 months ago

anything, being, better, bowie, david, David Bowie, inspiration, little, memorable, music, personality, taught, uniqueness, us, weird
I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

0

2 months ago

aspiration, blessing, comedy, faith, financial, financial stability, generosity, God, humor, i, money, others, pockets, stability, stable, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

61 shares on Threads this month:

“Why does my back always hurt?”, I say, while never sitting upright in a chair.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Heartbreaking: Introvert sentenced to 100 hours of hanging out.

32 shares on Messenger this month:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My five-year plan only requires a few acts of God.

85 shares on TikTok this month:

Drugs and alcohol take years off your life and give them to Keith Richards.

50 shares on Discord this month:

Mister Sandman, bring me a meme. Make it the dumbest shit that I’ve ever seen.

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Decorated the house across the street so I can look out the window and enjoy my handiwork.

32 shares on Reddit this month:

Wanna know what the 90’s were like? Put your phone down and go outside.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

It’s a good thing that not everyone has a smartphone. We also need people who honk when the lights turn green.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

It’s officially Christmas shopping season, and I can’t even afford my own life.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’ve officially reached the age where I don’t want to do anything after 9pm.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Actually, this email could’ve been a meeting. We could’ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone could’ve brought bagels.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Cause of death: Trying to draw eyebrows on the neighbor’s cat.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

Remember: no matter what anyone else thinks of you, it’s how you delude yourself that matters.

Seen just now on Threads:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Just shared via YouTube:

Those 8 hours at work go by quickly when you call off.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Having long hair as a guy is so scary because some days I look like the charming lead of a classic film from the 80s, and other days I look like a Discord mod that runs his Magic: The Gathering group like the Navy.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

When you bury a body, cover it with endangered plants, so it’s illegal to dig it up. Follow me for more gardening tips!

Just landed via TikTok:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Live now on Facebook:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like, “Damn, who has custody of Mom today?”

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Your coworkers are your friends; stop working and hang out.

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Real yearners know yearning is not actually fun.

What makes us human is selecting all images with traffic lights.

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨