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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I have an emotional support chicken roasting in the oven.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

My husband threw away a perfectly good box as if we might not need it in 20 years.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

Bruschetta is 80% delicious and 20% mess.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I see no action figures, puzzles, or board games. I thought you said you wanted to play with me.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

What do you mean it’s Monday? We just had Monday. This can’t be right.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,627

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via X:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I would rather walk directly into the ocean than tell people a fun fact about myself.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Just landed via Slack:

8 year gap on resume that just says “karate”.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

This sex could have been an email.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Remember, when a package says “sharing size”, that’s just a guideline. They have no enforcement mechanism.

Going bananas on Messenger:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Making waves on X:

You can make friends in a doctor’s waiting room as long as you have something broken and not something coughing.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

6 hours ago

Funny Quotes

Playful quote about feeling powerful and Medusa-like with seductive eyes.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"With these eyes, turning heads (and bodies) into stone—Medusa's got nothing on me! 😎👀🐍"

allure, confidence, eyes, feel, having, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, seductive, seductive eyes, self-expression

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Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on TikTok this month:

Nothing hurts more than someone not getting your joke.

31 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m either at work, going to work, coming home from work, sleeping for work, getting ready for work, or thinking about work.

59 shares on Discord this month:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Lingerie under a trench coat is still on my bucket list, by the way.

66 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

21 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s my birthday, but I’m not gonna post about it for attention like some kind of loser.

71 shares on Discord this month:

My New Year’s resolution is to be less presumptuous and rude to others. I’ll bet yours is to lose weight, isn’t it?

12 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

90 shares on Slack this month:

Technology has gone too far, man. My roommate is logged out of his lightbulbs because he forgot his password.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Sometimes, u just gotta clean your room and apply an elaborate skincare routine, and pretend that’s equivalent to getting ur life in order.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

It’s so unrealistic for me to delete WhatsApp, but man, I’d love to do it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

Social anxiety so bad I wonder if I’m welcome at places I was invited to.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

Do you also sometimes turn on the TV just so you have background noise or am I weird?

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

I’m done wasting money this summer, unless you guys want to do something this weekend.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry I can’t come today. My sister’s friend’s mother’s grandpa’s brother’s grandson’s uncle’s fish died, and it was tragic.

Going viral on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50’s, you’ll look for your phone while scrolling on your phone.

Broadcasted on Slack:

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

Spotted on TikTok:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Seen just now on Discord:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Live now on Messenger:

I suck at flirting, I end up arguing with them instead.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Having a job ruined my life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Most people have 32 teeth. Some have 10. Simple meth.

If the only person you’re competing with is yourself, how could you lose?

I love when people find out I meant every word I said.

The Face ID on my phone won’t work until it sees the loss of hope in my eyes.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨