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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

I treat people the way I want to be treated by not leaving the house.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Babysitting a pair of twin babies right now and feeding them saying “here comes the airplane”. I don’t know, just feels weird.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Wanna worship each other until the end of all things?

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

The dumbest person you know is being told, “You’re absolutely right!” by ChatGPT.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has viewed:

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,239

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Surround yourself with people who google the menu of the restaurant beforehand.

Trending via Threads:

I liked the version of you from the other dimension better.

Just shared via TikTok:

I went for an interview at IKEA. The manager greeted me by saying “come in, make a seat”.

Freshly posted on Slack:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Spotted on Discord:

Masturbation is easy, but choosing a video is hard.

Making waves on YouTube:

Wait… if you’re circling back and I’m touching base, who the hell is monitoring the situation?

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Live now on Threads:

Human interaction is a great way to learn all the new swear words your subconscious mind has come up with in the lab.

Breaking via TikTok:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Making waves on Reddit:

Tensing up so the masseuse doesn’t win.

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"With these eyes, turning heads (and bodies) into stone—Medusa's got nothing on me! 😎👀🐍"

allure, confidence, eyes, feel, having, humor, i, Medusa, mythology, seductive, seductive eyes, self-expression

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

0

3 days ago

AGI, AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, average, human, humor, intelligence, technology
Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

0

2 months ago

being, clues, crime, debugging, detective, humor, idiot, murderer, problem, problem-solving, programming, solving, tech, tech humor, where
Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

0

2 months ago

cream, dad, family, guilt, honesty, humor, i, ice, ice cream, kids, me, parenting, rest, snack
One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

0

2 months ago

another, confusion, heck, humor, logic, person, perspective
Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

0

3 months ago

adulthood, adulting, chore, humor, life, neverending, responsibility, shit, story
Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

0

2 months ago

cooky, humor, internet, me, performance, relatable, same, self-deprecation, snack, technology, website

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want Al to do my laundry and dishes so that I can do art and writing, not for Al to do my art and writing so that I can do my laundry and dishes.

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Don’t rush into a relationship. Be friends first. Maybe they have hotter friends. Thank me later.

27 shares on Instagram this month:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

72 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I hate world events. I have problems of my own to worry about.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

47 shares on WeChat this month:

You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

34 shares on Pinterest this month:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

64 shares on TikTok this month:

I would love to be the reason you look at your phone and smile. Then walk into a wall.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

The only person I ever call is my wife, and that’s just when we’re trying to find her phone.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

People who take naps are the real heroes. It takes courage to wake up twice in one day.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Calling the police when someone unfollows.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Not looking for a sugar daddy, but something more of a pay pal.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to cancel plans.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I wish I had the free time of someone who leaves a positive Amazon review for a rake.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

I’ve heard that people who don’t have Facebook use their free time to lie naked on top of each other. Ew, imagine that.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

I don’t think fish should be allowed to eat other fish. I don’t know. Just seems weird. That’s like your coworker, dude.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.

Making waves on TikTok:

Hey boy, are you my period? Because you’re annoying as hell but I still wanna see you regularly.

Just landed via TikTok:

I swear every time I look up from my phone, it’s a different holiday.

Just landed via Messenger:

Take my advice, I’m not using it.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Shared recently on X:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Live now on Threads:

No one watches your story faster than someone who doesn’t talk to you.

Seen just now on WeChat:

If it’s one thing we’ve learned hiking, it’s the early bird that gets the face full of spiderwebs.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I regret to inform you all that I just plan on getting hotter and weirder.

Spotted on Slack:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Having seductive eyes is not for the weak. I feel like Medusa.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Achieving AGI by reducing the intelligence of the average human rather than increasing the intelligence of AI.

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

One person’s logic is another one’s “what the heck?”

Adulthood – a never-ending story of shit you have to do.

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨