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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

“You’re so chill.” Thanks, I gave up.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

I’ve been saying for years that cigs are better for you than vapes, and the vindication I feel now is just orgasmic.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Sunday is my favorite day where I pretend I’m going to do something productive.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

Sometimes being a woman is just trying to figure out if you’re hormonally sad, seasonally sad, or genuinely falling apart.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

If anyone needs me, I’ll be in a different realm.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they won’t find me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Inside you, there are two wolves. Kevin Costner is dancing with both of them. I don’t know how this works.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,641

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Spotted on Discord:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

The best way for me to stick to my diet is to go straight back to sleep after breakfast.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You gotta ask people nowadays, are you single single, mad at your partner single, blocked single or single just in your head.

Live now on Messenger:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Just landed via Telegram:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

Seen just now on Discord:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, back in the day when "logging on" meant a five-minute escapade and floppy disks were the height of mobile storage! 🖥️💾😂

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I need you to put the fun in refund!

0

2 months ago

fun, humor, i, joke, money, need, playfulness, put, refund
Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

0

2 months ago

absolutely, attempt, connection, consolation, consolation prize, cruelty, dating, failed, friendship, humor, prize, rejection, relationship, romantic, romantic connection
No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

0

2 months ago

adulting, avoid, challenges, humor, irony, lessons, life, life lessons, me, responsibility, scams, told, trying, unexpected, unexpected challenges
My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

0

5 months ago

back, chair, chairs, household, humor, husband, just, laziness, magic, marriage, push, relationship
Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

0

2 months ago

advice, bang, headache, humor, injury, pain, pro-tip, something, toe
Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

0

2 months ago

color, confusion, fruit, humor, logic, orange, question, wordplay

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

98 shares on Discord this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

44 shares on Reddit this month:

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

91 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: it’s ten years of people saying “wait until you’re 50”.

68 shares on X this month:

I do all my own stunts, but never intentionally.

23 shares on Facebook this month:

Schedule your bikini wax for the first thing in the morning, and you won’t need that cup of coffee.

21 shares on Slack this month:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

78 shares on Reddit this month:

They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media, like, why am I showing my life?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

I love when people say “be yourself,” like I haven’t already been doing that and scaring everyone off.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

Cute how I complain that my kids are spoiled when I’m the one who spoils them.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I’ve been dieting for a little over a week and I already gained three pounds.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

If you like someone, set them free. If they comeback, it means nobody liked them. Set them free again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I, unfortunately, was born without any interest in Avatar.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Relationship status: my sex robot filed a restraining order.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. You’re home from the party before you used to go out for the party in your 20s.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Self-care is putting your face on a very soft cat.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

The toughest part of being a vegan is keeping it to yourself.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Pinterest:

Probably always gonna be the weirdo that believes in magic.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

When people say something is cray-cray it makes me wanna vom-vom.

Spotted on TikTok:

“Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Spotted on TikTok:

Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

The trouble with living alone is that it’s always my turn to do the dishes.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The hard part about dating is finding someone who’s mentally ill enough to understand you, but not mentally ill enough to ruin your life.

Making waves on Pinterest:

“I don’t care!”, he posted, again.

Live now on Reddit:

Getting mad at your hair is a whole different kind of angry.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I need you to put the fun in refund!

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

My husband clearly believes that chairs just magically push themselves back in.

Headache pro-tip: Bang your toe into something.

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨