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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

“You’re always sleeping!” God forbid a girl wants to be unconscious.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Tested positive for being single af

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Why touch grass when you can touch ass?

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

America is like that TV show that’s been on for too long, and the writers don’t know what to do, so they just make anything happen.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

Fog. When nature is too lazy to load the complete environment.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,264

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

Meteorologist: It’s going to get even hotter. Me, on fire: WHAT?

Breaking via Pinterest:

It’s not even a crush. it’s just unsupervised hope.

Trending via Discord:

Twitter is basically everyone’s therapist’s couch.

Breaking via X:

What if babies had two umbilical cords and if you cut the wrong one, it exploded?

Just landed via Instagram:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Working my first office job. Is it normal to have nothing to do?

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The more secure you want my computer password to be, the more guaranteed I am to just write it on a very not secure post-it note.

Going bananas on Messenger:

I did not spend years turning the faucet off while I brushed my teeth, so corporations could ruin the environment with festering AI slop.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Threatening my husband with tariffs every time he tries to make me watch sports on TV.

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, yes, back in the day when "logging on" meant a five-minute escapade and floppy disks were the height of mobile storage! 🖥️💾😂

age, childhood, computer, computer lab, going, humor, lab, memory, nostalgia, people, remember, school, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

0

2 months ago

butterfly, butterfly feeling, dating, emotions, feeling, feelings, give, having, humor, i, me, miss, people, point, relationships, roach, roach vibe, vibe, vibes
When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

0

2 months ago

annoyance, funny insult, humor, humor quote, insult, mosquito, prank, sarcasm, say, slap, someone, want
I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

0

2 months ago

activity, button, buttons, fun, fun activity, humor, i, Instagram, liking, media, pressing, pressing button, social, social media, story
Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

0

4 weeks ago

adolescence, change, experience, growth, hair, humor, puberty
It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

0

2 months ago

communication, friend, good, good friend, honesty, relationship, truth, understanding, want
I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

0

2 months ago

animal, animal behavior, anything, behavior, carefree, cat, confusion, front, frustration, house, house cat, humor, i, me, shit, simplicity, slap, understand, want

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on X this month:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

82 shares on Threads this month:

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve finally found out what chronology is. And it’s about time.

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Mentally saying “Wed-Nes-Day” when writing the word Wednesday.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ll rewind a movie, get on my phone, and miss the same part.

21 shares on Pinterest this month:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

14 shares on X this month:

Who called it a heatwave and not a temperature tantrum?

15 shares on Threads this month:

I’m seriously considering adoption. Who wants me?

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

Hey, we’re calling off the search party. We found a different guy out there we like more.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Was already at my breaking point, and then had to use the authenticator app.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Only thing sexier than a bad decisions is a bad decision with queso.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Relationship status: I love my bed.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Changing my passwords regularly has certainly helped protect my accounts. Against me.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Every time I wanna quit, I remember horses don’t stop.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

The only ‘survival horror’ game I play is called ‘getting up every day and leaving the house.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Letting the sun have its way with my freckles today.

Making waves on Discord:

I’m not moody; I’m just on shuffle.

Spotted on Reddit:

All I’m saying is that porn gives us an unrealistic expectation of how quickly the electrician shows up.

Going viral on Reddit:

Just burned 2,000 calories trying to avoid someone I know at Walmart.

Trending via Reddit:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who turns every black shirt into an abstract deodorant mural.

Spotted on TikTok:

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I really can’t wait until it all works out.

Breaking via Discord:

Is losing your mind a hobby?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Shared recently on WeChat:

After Michael Jordan joined a religious order, he was known as Air Friar.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey, people, my age. Remember going into the computer lab at school?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I miss having that butterfly feeling. People give me roach vibes at this point.

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

I like liking Instagram stories because I like pressing buttons.

Puberty was a hair-raising experience.

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨