Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

I’ve decided that my 20s are actually from 25 – 35.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

“She’s so self-centered”—who’s supposed to be the center of my life? You?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

People who talk about fruit having too much sugar scare me so bad. Please get back, you wicked witch!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Vaginally speaking, he seems nice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,670

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If she replies to your sarcasm with more sarcasm, that’s a whole life.

Just landed via Threads:

My neighbors were up shouting all night. I could barely hear my bagpipes.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

If you give me a serious answer to a silly question, I’m giving you a wedgie.

Breaking via Threads:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Spotted on WeChat:

Self-discipline is tough because I’m the boss of me, and that guy runs a real loose ship.

Spotted on YouTube:

I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Breaking via Threads:

Home is where you trust the toilet seats.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Fox Mulder” is an aggressively sexy name.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Asked a German girl for her number, and I’m still waiting for the rest of the digits. So far, all I have is “nine.”

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a case for the heartbreak police! 🚨💔😂

broke, greeting, heart, heartbreak, humor, know, name, relationship

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Instagram this month:

Mixing 1% milk and 2% milk to create the forbidden 1.72% milk.

49 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just want someone who will treat me like a lady and hold the refrigerator door open for me.

30 shares on Reddit this month:

Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

38 shares on YouTube this month:

Telling everyone I’m an undecided voter because I need the attention.

71 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve cooked for men I should have poisoned, so yeah, I do have self-control.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

Nobody watches you harder than people who don’t like you, so give them a show they will never forget.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Do you guys remember when we had to share one desktop computer wіth the whole famіly?

73 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

74 shares on Instagram this month:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Today I couldn’t find a parking space at work, so I drove back home. Looks like they have enough people there.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Women’s skincare is so confusing. Am I supposed to look shiny and sweaty, or matte like cement?

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Used shampoo containing caffeine. My hair is already on its way to work.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

I kind of miss when people stood 6 feet away.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Due to inflation, a picture is now worth 2300 words.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

Play your cards right and we could be wearing matching fanny packs this summer.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Just landed via Instagram:

Watching 2+ movies a day to prevent a thought from happening.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Engaging in deforestation (trimming my bush).

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The Bloodhound Gang were very special because its music for 12-year-old boys, but every reference requires you to be 40 years old.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

Making waves on Twitch:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

My birthday wish is for everyone to ignore my birthday.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I be like, “Awwwww cows,” and then go and eat two double cheeseburgers, lol.

Y’all ever feel like your mouth is stupid but your mind is smart? Like you’re intelligent but you can’t express it when you’re speaking? It’s so frustrating.

She wanted me to impress her in the bedroom, so I showed her my organized sock drawer and my fresh matching bedding.

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

Some of you aren’t reading the room. Not even listening to the room on audiobook.

Psychiatry is crazy because they’re just like… Oh, you’re really depressed? Would being on a pill that makes you fat help?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨