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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has bookmarked:

What beautiful weather outside. I’m gonna close the curtains.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Can the AI bubble just pop already? Everyone hates this crap.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

Just a friendly reminder folks. Don’t forget to set back your rooster this weekend.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

Why did Star Wars Episodes 4, 5 & 6 come out before 1,2 & 3? Because in charge of directing, Yoda was.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,475

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Spotted on Slack:

Ever since I was a little girl, I’ve always known I wanted to be a woman with a lot of money when I grew up.

Spotted on Snapchat:

To everyone who wrote “stay cool” in my year book, I have some devastating news.

Just landed via WeChat:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Breaking via WeChat:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Freshly posted on Threads:

One of the top features of squirrels, for me, has got to be that squirreliness.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Establish dominance over your children by whining louder.

Just shared via Telegram:

What’s it called when you mentally want to be horny but you’re physically not at all?

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Honestly, shopping beats therapy, anytime. It costs the same and you get a dress out of it.

Spotted on Threads:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Attempting memory wipe in 3… 2… 1… Oops, I seem to have forgotten why I walked into this room instead! 🤔😂🚪

before, came, everyone, flirtation, forget, humor, intention, making, me, memory, romantic

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

0

2 months ago

adult, adult theme, back, back pain, bad, bad knee, bed, early, early bed, excitement, going, interest, interest rate, knee, knees, movie, pain, rate, rates, theme, warning
I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

0

2 months ago

awareness, care, confusion, humor, i, idea, me, pretend, stuff, time
My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

0

2 months ago

cat, conversation, crazy, humor, i, opinion, over, pet, talk, think
Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

0

2 months ago

after, aspiration, day, fame, health, hospital, humor, irony, maybe, me, mental, mental health, recognition, school, self-deprecation, street
Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, every, humor, i, irony, life, life struggle, morning, negativity, single, struggle, woke, woke up
Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

0

2 weeks ago

clock, difference, gender, gender difference, humor, independence, man, men, money, relationship, woman, women

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“How is the job search going?” First of all, that is a violent question. And it hurts me, by the way. And second, how the hell should I know.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

63 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I think you would all treat me a lot better if I possessed a small amount of plutonium.

51 shares on WeChat this month:

One day you’re young and fun, and the next thing you know, you’re staring out of a window for no reason.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s the weekend, so naturally, I’m going to spend 48 hours doing nothing, and still be exhausted.

33 shares on WhatsApp this month:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

44 shares on WeChat this month:

Some people post such depressing love shit that I start to miss their exes myself!

11 shares on Messenger this month:

I made you snort laugh, so we’re going out, right?

65 shares on Threads this month:

I don’t need alcohol to make bad decisions.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve tasted long-term relationships, I’ve tasted casual dating. I highly recommend focusing on your career and going to sleep before 9 p.m. ..!

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

A social media post so confusing you turn your music down to read it.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has downloaded:

The people who upload old movies to the internet are holding society together.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Shall I cook, clean, or do the grocery shopping? Okay, reading it is.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

After ejaculation, men automatically realize that everything is vanity upon vanity.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

If I ever say “with all due respect”, please understand that there is none.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Trending via Messenger:

At my age, I’m more frightened of a hip break than a heartbreak.

Trending via Instagram:

Solitude never hits you with unsolicited opinions.

Just shared via TikTok:

Nobody has ever been given a cheeseburger and been upset about it.

Trending via Slack:

Is there really anything worse than being forced to watch a video on someone else’s phone and having to pretend to laugh for 2 minutes?

Going viral on Messenger:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

They should invent a type of situation that improves.

Just shared via Messenger:

No revenge, because to know me only as a memory is to suffer.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Job applications be like “how did you hear about us?”. Bro why, was it a secret?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey (with the intention of making you forget everyone who came before me).

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

I pretend I don’t care about stuff, but that’s only because I have no idea what’s going on around me at any given time.

My cat and I talked it over and no we don’t think that I’m crazy.

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Every single bad day happened because I woke up.

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨