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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Eating wings is the opposite of flying.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

I said it was my favorite show, I didn’t say it was good.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

Being a dinosaur sounds kinda nice. No bills, no work, just extinct.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Another beautiful day without using sin, tan and cos.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I’ve deleted enough tweets to know that I should never get a tattoo.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

Whoever said having a crush is when you feel the most like Carrie Bradshaw was so real for that.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

Just rolled a joint. Not to get high or anything. It was just my ankle.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on YouTube:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Just shared via Threads:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Hairless cats look like the devil screwed up a possession.

Breaking via WeChat:

Sorry I zoned out during your story… my brain was offering me multiple side quests and overthinking opportunities.

Going viral on WeChat:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Just landed via Pinterest:

Oligarchy sounds like something you dip your breadstick in at the olive garden.

Spotted on Facebook:

I was an ugly baby. It’s been downhill since then.

Making waves on Telegram:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”

“Hey you!” is short for “I have no idea what your name is.”
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Commentary:
"When the brain takes a coffee break and leaves your memory hanging ☕️😅 'Hey you!' is the universal placeholder until we (hopefully) remember! 🤷‍♂️📛"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

7 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

With me, it isn’t Netflix & chill. It’s Prime & panic.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had a can opener that actually works?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

If I complain about being out of shape, I don’t actually want fitness tips and workouts to try. I just want to complain and remain out of shape. What is wrong with you people?

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

I’ll be home for Christmas, because that’s where I live.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Called in telepathically this morning, so they know I’m thinking of them.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I’ve seen Barbie naked.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Welcome to middle age: your chin looks lonely; here’s another one.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Twitch:

I grew up in a poor family. We didn’t have much, but we had each other. And that was the worst part.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Socialism is like polio, it comes back when people forget about the horrible damage it did last time.

Going viral on Slack:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

Just landed via Twitch:

I know it hurts like hell, and you don’t think you can do it, but it’s just one push-up.

Live now on Twitch:

Hardly a day goes by without me being reminded that an academic degree has nothing to do with intelligence.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Trending via TikTok:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Just landed via Messenger:

An electric car is just another electric chair.

Going viral on Threads:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

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