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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

To bed then. To bed with you! Guards, take him to my bed!

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Oh, you like NYC? Name every rat.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Gonna take the kids to the planetarium so they can watch YouTube on their phones.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

“It could be drugs,” I tell myself as I buy more books.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Sometimes happiness is just having a good night’s sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

The hottest thing a man can be is boring in his 30s.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

You ever get into such a weird mood you have to put yourself on house arrest for a couple days?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

44 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Lately life has been all panic no disco.

Just shared via TikTok:

Hobosexual. A person who dates you with the sole interest of having a place to stay.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Mission Impossible theme song plays in my head when I’m trying to remember a password.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Everybody’s back hurts until it’s time to have sexy time.

Trending via Pinterest:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Just landed via Discord:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Trending via Telegram:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Just landed via Instagram:

Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The worst part about being drunk and seeing double is when you realize it’s just one slice of pizza.

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

6 months ago

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

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Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of the modern recluse on a quest for love! 🕵️‍♂️🚪 Who needs dating apps when you've got the mystery of the unknown neighbor next door or the dashing delivery person who brings your takeout? 🌮💌 Remember, romance can be found in the unlikeliest of places… like the laundry room or the self-checkout line at the grocery store! 🧺🛒 Just remember to

advice, apartment, apps, date, dating, dating apps, i, isolation, leave, life, meet, need, never, relationship, relationship advice, social, social life, someone, tips, urgent, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

782 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,944

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,944

44 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

You don’t have to be crazy to hang out with me. I’ll train you.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

My body is a “wonder what happened” land.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I’m currently on a really effective diet called “I only have twenty dollars until payday”.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Short men store so much anger in their little body.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely fulfilled the prophecy.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Am I the only one who wonders why the Flintstones celebrate Christmas?

Making waves on Snapchat:

The only appointment I’m ever on time for is disappointment.

Trending via Discord:

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

Shared recently on Twitch:

For Halloween, I’m going as an emotional roller coaster.

Trending via WeChat:

Sunday night: Super Bowl party! Monday morning: Toilet Bowl party!

Trending via LinkedIn:

Got my dog microchipped, so if he runs away, I can just press a button, and he’ll explode.

Live now on Reddit:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Trending via Snapchat:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

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