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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Whoever said “team work makes the dream work” needs to explain that to my many personalities.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I have a mental illness that makes me think that people will change their minds if I present the correct arguments with the appropriate facts and data.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Whatever you do today, do it with the confidence of a 4-year old wearing a Batman cape.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has copied:

Just asked this girl Hannah how she spells her name, and she just said, “Two of everything, darling.” Iconic!

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Christmas combines two things I love the most, getting fat and lying to children.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

I’m growing a mullet so no one will want to hangout with me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

426 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,695

Funny Quotes Topics

17,711

Funny Quotes Images

15,695

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,311

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Snapchat:

My dog sure does give a lot of side eye for someone without a job.

Just shared via Threads:

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I don’t hold grudges. I just remember facts very aggressively.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

An escape room, but it’s just your high school reunion.

Trending via Slack:

“Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

Trending via Threads:

Rage bait often works on me because I was already angry before I read that.

Just landed via Slack:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Making waves on Facebook:

Made the mistake of believing what I was told again.

Just landed via Discord:

An escape room, but it’s a bean bag chair in a hammock on a water bed in a bouncy house and you’re over 40. Good luck!

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Once you are able to find humor in any situation, you’ve either reached enlightenment or you’re just a little unhinged.

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.
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Commentary:
When the door closes behind your family, tranquility officially kicks off! 🏡🚪😌✨

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Slack this month:

My dad thought Siri would be more helpful finding a lemon ricotta recipe if he used an Italian accent.

27 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ginger ale is the champagne of soda.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

17 shares on Telegram this month:

The first two drinks don’t count if you have social anxiety, they just turn you into a normal person.

91 shares on Telegram this month:

Welcome to your 40’s: you get excited about avocados now.

90 shares on Discord this month:

Some people spend a fortune so they can circle the world. I drink some beer and the world circles around me.

43 shares on Messenger this month:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

54 shares on WeChat this month:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

51 shares on Slack this month:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

60 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Grandmas be like: Imma stay for a few days and reset your children back to factory settings.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Phone dry, no food in the house, I keep dying in my game. I’m such a loser.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite color is money.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Christmas decor isn’t meant to be sleek and minimalist, it is supposed to look like joy threw up in your house.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Hell hath no fury like a toddler who lost the chance to push a button.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

426 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,695

Funny Quotes Topics

17,711

Funny Quotes Images

15,695

Updated

Jan 13, 2026

Users Online

3,626

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Dog barking like an angry baby, baby crying like an angry dog.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

My sleeping cycle is completely backwards. In the morning I feel sleepy and at night I can’t fall asleep.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Cancelling a date so I can order pizza and go to bed at 8:30 p.m.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Born to say “are you f*****g stupid”, forced to say “wow, I’ve never thought about it like that before”.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Why do moths eat sweaters? Have they tried sandwiches or avocados?

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Other people: You should get out of your comfort zone. Me: You should get out of my comfort zone.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I love when someone is telling a story and you can tell even from their version that they’re the villain.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Trending via Twitch:

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

Just landed via Discord:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Going viral on WeChat:

‘Tis the season to wrap objects in colorful paper with the fine motor skills of a T-Rex.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

Spotted on WeChat:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Going bananas on Discord:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

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