Wordgag 🎅

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Multitask? I can barely unitask.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has shared:

It’s a paradox that your nose is running and your feet smell.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My Uber driver didn’t try to talk to me the entire ride. Five stars.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

In Hell, “Cotton Eye Joe” plays on an eternal loop. The heat and fire are actually pleasant compared to that.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I keep checking my phone like I mean something to somebody. Silly me.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Babies are undefeated at debate. Their gibberish is too passionate.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

508 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,101

Funny Quotes Topics

17,252

Funny Quotes Images

15,101

Updated

Dec 23, 2025

Users Online

3,936

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on X:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Making waves on Facebook:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Just shared via Facebook:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Just landed via Telegram:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Going bananas on YouTube:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I like the concept of restaurant appetizers: “Bring me something to eat. And bring me something else to eat while I’m waiting.”

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

I’m not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I can do a lot of things, but listening to someone chew is not one of them.

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

3 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When the door closes behind your family, tranquility officially kicks off! 🏡🚪😌✨

alone, everyone, family, holiday, home, home alone, house, humor, moment, movie, peace, reminder

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

0

1 month ago

aging, frustration, grocery, grocery store, humor, mad, rearrange, senior, senior year, store, welcome, where, year
“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

0

2 months ago

Bluetooth, fun, game, humor, insane, lone, lone person, loud, observation, person, play, public, social, social observation, speaking
I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

0

5 months ago

cleaning, closet, discovery, distraction, found, humor, i, looking, organise, procrastination, tidying, tidying up
Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

0

3 months ago

bed, comfort, cozy, even, ever, funny question, happiness, happy, question, relaxation, sleep, wish
There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

0

2 months ago

amazing, baby, connect, eyes, family, i, life, LinkedIn, nephew, new, new life, something, spiritual, stop, thinking
Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

0

1 month ago

clothing, gravity, humor, pant, physic, struggle, times

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

The real advantage of being self-employed is that you don’t have to go to a Christmas party.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

How can vampires enjoy drinking our hot blood in the summer and other thoughts that keep me up at night.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

When I was a kid there were two sure ways to die, natural causes and talking back to your parents.

88 shares on TikTok this month:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

14 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hi there, I very much look forward to letting you down.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

70 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

83 shares on YouTube this month:

Did I eat too much candy today? My stomach says yes, but my heart says no.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

Good friends don’t let their friends do stupid things alone.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Cats hear everything. They just don’t care.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Guys love being called “daddy” until the pregnancy test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I march to the beat of my own dumb.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

You used to calm me on my cell phone!

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

So I just googled my symptoms, turns out I’m addicted to you.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I hate texting someone something freaky at night, and they reply in the morning like it’s still the vibe. Shut up. The sun’s out. I’m pure again.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Trending via Messenger:

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Going bananas on TikTok:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Seen just now on X:

Wanna perform obscene blood rituals under the full moon, or nah?

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I can’t tell if I need coffee, a hug, or to just go live in the woods forever.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sorry, can’t. I’m currently nodding in class so the teacher doesn’t feel sad.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Glad to be born at a time when I got to see what life was like before the internet, and will be dead before AI completely destroys humanity.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Dear ghosts, if you can move stuff around and flicker lights, then you can use a mop.

Live now on Messenger:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

“Home Alone” is a holiday reminder that peace begins the moment everyone leaves the house.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Are you ever so happy to be in bed, you wish you could be even more in bed than you already are?

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Gravity, at all times, is trying to pull your pants down.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨