Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Born to say “Who the hell raised you to be this stupid.” Forced to work in groups.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Caught the bouquet at the funeral.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

When physical labor became optional, we invented the gym. We’ll need the same thing for the mind.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

It’s called a Caesar Salad because you stab it a bunch of times when you eat it.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Nothing can break the bond between me and peanut butter.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,388

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Sharing wired earphones is a forgotten form of intimacy.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m addicted to following the rules I made up. And also breaking the rules I made up.

Trending via Discord:

About four minutes into my run, I’ve decided I want to work on my personality instead.

Just landed via WeChat:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Signed an Executive Order that you have to give me a little forehead kiss.

Trending via Twitch:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I’m going to start reading books again, as soon as I finish the internet.

Live now on Messenger:

The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Shared recently on YouTube:

That moment when it’s January in a couple of weeks, and you realize you are still trying to lose weight from last January.

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

4 weeks ago

Humorous message about leaving work early, featuring playful moonwalking imagery.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just trying not to trip over my own feet 😆🌕💃

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

4 weeks ago

apology, communication, enough, excuse, hang, humor, i, know, socializing, sorry, vocabulary, words
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

1 month ago

communication, guys, i, just, last, late, late reply, message, night, reply, restaurant, saw, socializing, sorry, still, text, text message
Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

1 month ago

cubicle, employee, employee handbook, handbook, humor, i, life, me, noise, office, office life, show, weird, weird noise, where, workplace, workplace humor
I am single, please disturb me!

4 weeks ago

am, disturb, fun, humor, i, independence, loneliness, me, relationship, single
If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

4 weeks ago

career, career change, change, coding, gathering, humor, hunting, joke, tech, tech joke
Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

1 month ago

believe, career, childhood, cover, cover letter, dream, dumb, ever, fun, girl, grow, having, humor, i, letter, letters, little, pony, rainbow, ride, sarcasm, space, work

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Telegram this month:

Being a procrastinator and a perfectionist means you’re stressed about work … that you haven’t even started yet.

68 shares on Discord this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

92 shares on Threads this month:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

45 shares on Slack this month:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

22 shares on Slack this month:

I’m a Leo so I just eat the other astrological signs.

18 shares on Pinterest this month:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

36 shares on X this month:

My kids acting shocked there’s ants in my car like they’re not Hansel and Gretel leaving bloody crumb trails.

47 shares on Threads this month:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Women are like a fitted sheet. No matter what you do or how hard you try, they just never seem to cooperate.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

The Bible is 100% accurate when thrown at close range.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Sleep is a beautiful thing. You don’t miss anyone, you can’t do anything wrong and you simply feel nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I will die on this hill or any hill really. I have no hill preference.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

Whenever an insect rides for miles on my car, I imagine it thinking: “Oh crap, moving again!”

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I bought a calming tea but the smell and taste is making me nervous.

Trending via Pinterest:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only reason I haven’t gone crazy yet is because I’m just too lazy.

Just shared via Telegram:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Just landed via Telegram:

All I know for sure is that I could be wrong.

Going viral on Pinterest:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Just landed via Slack:

I don’t need anger management, you just need to stop making me angry!

Just shared via Slack:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Going viral on Threads:

The older I get, the earlier it gets late.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

I am single, please disturb me!

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Having to write cover letters is so dumb. Do you really believe my dream ever since I was a little girl was to work for you? No. It was to ride a pony on a funky space rainbow. Grow up.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨