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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My favorite machine at the gym is the vending machine.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

If you’re wondering whether something is A.I. or not, A.I. has already won.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

If my wife and I got divorced and moved to separate states, I’m convinced I would still hear her chewing.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Grandparents were right. Sitting in a chair, doing nothing, and staring at nature is incredible.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Lady just asked me what “mansplaining” is. I think it’s a trap. We’ve been staring at each other in silence for half an hour.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has viewed:

I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

They say “When you snooze, you lose”… I say “When you take a nappy, you are happy.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

Drive like no one is watching.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Don’t forget to overestimate your importance today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,931

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

Just landed via Twitch:

Who called it a Cybertruck and not a Deplorean?

Trending via Threads:

In case any nudes of me should appear somewhere: It was very cold that day.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When you’re using Grok, the A in Al just stands for Adolf.

Trending via Facebook:

Carrots are a great thing to eat when you’re hungry, and want to stay that way.

Just landed via Threads:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Spotted on Messenger:

Wanted to report a YouTube video, but there is no option for “Cringe”, so I just picked “Terrorism”.

Going viral on Reddit:

Self-cleaning conscience.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Just trying not to trip over my own feet 😆🌕💃

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

0

2 months ago

asking, awareness, battle, conversation, drinking, empathy, every, fighting, health, humor, know, meet, nothing, person, support, water, worse
I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

0

3 weeks ago

argument, belief, Christmas, good, holiday, humor, i, Santa, should, skepticism, still, stop, tradition, why
Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

0

2 months ago

always, appliance, appliances, coincidence, expense, getting, humor, know, money, refund, tax, timing
If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

0

2 months ago

catch, fire, fun, humor, joke, liar, lot, news, pants, truth, watching
Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

0

2 months ago

being, child, childhood, commercials, complaints, course, give, humor, money, satire, terrible, time, watch, whole
Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

0

2 months ago

afternoon, coffee, energy, humor, person, personality, procrastination, sleep

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

47 shares on Twitch this month:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

69 shares on WeChat this month:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

People my age are raising children, and I’m just here trying to bribe myself with treats into doing my own chores.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.

78 shares on Instagram this month:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

81 shares on Threads this month:

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

27 shares on Pinterest this month:

My main takeaway from ‘The Walking Dead’ is that you can still eat the expired canned goods in your pantry.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I do my best to kill everyone with kindness, but they don’t seem to be dying.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Adulting: unlocking life’s mysteries, one therapy session at a time.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

A drone, but for seeing which fast food drive-thrus have the shortest line.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

Waiting for toast to toast takes forever unless you walk away for 10 seconds, then it burns.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

have one of those big paintings with the eyeholes cut out, but I don’t have anyone to spy on, so I just watch TV through it.

Trending via WeChat:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Trending via Twitch:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I love that the entire economy is just different types of scams now.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I need money, not feelings.

Spotted on Messenger:

Pretty sure I need to go back to bed and sleep for 3 days.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

Making waves on Telegram:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Just landed via Telegram:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Live now on LinkedIn:

It’s like ten thousand tweets when all you need is a life.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Every person you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by asking if they’re drinking enough water.

I still haven’t heard one good argument why I should stop believing in Santa.

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

If liars’ pants really did catch on fire, watching the news would be a lot more fun.

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨