Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

When I say I’m tired, the “of people” is silent.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

The PhD student is someone who foregoes their current happiness in order to forego future happiness.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has copied:

Mind if I crawl into your DMs and stay there for a while?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Do y’all watch the results come or do you go to bed and wait to see what Democracy Claus left you in the morning?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

I like to people-watch, but I’m an advanced people-watcher. When I spot another people-watcher, I like to watch them watching other people.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Ever looked at your ex and wondered, was I drunk the entire relationship?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on YouTube:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Just shared via Discord:

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Spotted on Twitch:

I used to think that the older you get, the wiser and more self-confident you become. I now know that you just get tired more quickly.

Live now on YouTube:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Shared recently on Slack:

Manifesting you in my bed.

Just landed via Twitch:

The reason my eyes are dilated is because I am so attracted to you, officer.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little mysteries you get to solve later on.

Just landed via WeChat:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Breaking via Discord:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

5 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Imagine the bloopers are scarier than the movie! 😂👻🎬

able, add, after, blooper, bloopers, comedy, film, horror, horror movie, joke, main, movie, scare, should, sleep, watching

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

0

2 months ago

50, 50s, after, age, age humor, aging, forget, forgetting, humor, i, joke, just, know, lapse, me, memory, memory lapse, middle, middle age, over, stuff
Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

0

2 months ago

bright, dark, day, humor, light, moon, night, opinion, perspective, sun, unpopular, us, useful, usefulness
If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

0

2 months ago

advice, environment, flush, health, humor, medicine, pharmacy, pills, swallow, toilet, too, toxic, toxicity
Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

0

2 months ago

boredom, distraction, humor, keep, media, nothing, scrolling, self-deprecation, social, social media
Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

0

2 months ago

friend, friends, life, motivation, parent, parents, procrastination, self-deception, student, student life, study, studying, tomorrow, yourself
How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

0

5 months ago

couple, humor, irony, love, married, need, ones, people, relationship, single

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m just a crazy person looking for a crazy person who finds me completely normal.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t have mirrors in my house. I mean, who wants to see disappointment everyday?

23 shares on Twitch this month:

How does one stop eating ice cream when there’s still some in the container?

80 shares on Discord this month:

If we’ve got the technology to make heated car seats, then where the hell are the seats that automatically cool down in the summer? Make it happen, nerds.

70 shares on TikTok this month:

Coughing has finally overtaken speaking Arabic as the most taboo thing to do in an airport.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

30 shares on YouTube this month:

Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Sorry I didn’t respond to your message, I got stuck in a cloud while skydiving and lived for 72 days by drinking rain and eating birds that flew too close.

39 shares on TikTok this month:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

That annoying moment when you’re texting someone and autocorrect decides to join the conversation.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Anyone who wants to learn how to be humble, feel free to talk to me. There’s nothing like learning from the best.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Keeping my mouth shut is usually not enough to avoid an argument with my husband. I also have to deactivate the subtitle function on my face.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

Liking someone who likes you back is probably really good for your mental health.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Twitch:

I wish I was a moose. No work, no school, just eating grass and wrecking cars.

Spotted on Pinterest:

The 10 minutes I spend on my mobile before I go to sleep are the best 3 hours of my day.

Live now on YouTube:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you are done.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I’m so old, I still drink my coffee at home in the morning. From a real cup.

Breaking via Facebook:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

Just shared via Facebook:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

Trending via WeChat:

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Unpopular opinion: The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

How come all the single people don’t need no one, and all the married ones need two?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨