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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Be the spooky thing in the woods that you wish to see in the world.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

My superpower is wasting time I don’t even have.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has copied:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

A foghorn but for people who can’t see through their own bullshit.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Website: We use cookies to improve performance. Me: Same.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,713

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

And then there are people who can only sleep on their back because their pea brain could slip out of their ear if they lie on their side.

Just shared via Discord:

Tariff this, tariff that. When is somebody gonna tariff my clothes and kiss me?

Trending via Threads:

First date idea: you bring me coffee in bed, and we snuggle all morning.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Viewing someone’s LinkedIn after they’ve viewed yours to assert dominance.

Going viral on Snapchat:

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Don’t listen to them, little password. You are strong.

Breaking via WeChat:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Women’s fall fashion is basically coming up with ways to wear a blanket without it looking like you’re wearing a blanket.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Freshly posted on Threads:

You know you got a bad haircut when she insists on giving you a $10 discount.

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the hot singles over 40 are not just asking for a date, but also for some health advice! 🔥💪 Forget pick-up lines, they want to know your joint pain secrets instead! 💬😂 Who knew finding love could also mean finding the best anti-inflammatory remedy? 🌿💕 #MatchmakingForPainRelief"

40, area, curiosity, dating, hot, hot single, humor, inflammation, joint, joint pain, over, over 40, pain, single, singles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

93 shares on Twitch this month:

Getting real tired of my own bullshit.

61 shares on Threads this month:

It’s freezing cold outside and my polar bear won’t start.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

The sexual orientation where you’re attracted to both and men and women but they’re not attracted to you is called Bi-yourself.

11 shares on X this month:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

37 shares on Messenger this month:

Girlfriend is temporary, ex-girlfriend is forever.

87 shares on Discord this month:

Strict parents raise good liars.

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

100 shares on TikTok this month:

“I asked ChatGPT.” Okay, well, I asked my mom.

90 shares on YouTube this month:

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You had me at “We’ll make it look like an accident.”

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unlocking new levels of iron deficiency.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,406

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Nothing ruins an introvert’s day like a 4 p.m. appointment.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I’m actually pretty attractive, if you don’t compare me to anyone, ever.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

I don’t get how alcohol turns y’all evil. I just start giggling and get slutty.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

There’s a cougar warning in my neighborhood, but apparently it’s just a big cat. I bought a case of wine coolers for nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

I like to establish dominance by yawning the minute someone tries to make small talk with me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Going bananas on Telegram:

That was the last cup of coffee in my life. From tomorrow I’ll be drinking straight from the pot.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Big accounts just say water is wet and get 1 trillion likes.

Trending via WeChat:

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry, I can’t go out this weekend. I went out last weekend, and I’m still recovering from that.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Discovered a new coping mechanism called lashing out and making your loved ones resent you.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

Just shared via Slack:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

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