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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

I relate to a rooster because I also want start off my day by screaming.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve been saving these cleavage crumbs just for you babe.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

I only drink when I people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Don’t invite me anywhere in the last minute. I enjoy doing nothing, so I need to know ahead of time if my plan to do nothing needs to be changed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

I was gonna get on the treadmill, but then the couch will get sad.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Another fine day ruined by responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

19 minutes ago

3,432

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Aliens are gonna be super confused when they show up threatening to overthrow our leaders and we’re all stoked and offer to help.

Trending via X:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Prepare your kids for social media by putting their artwork on the fridge and writing a bunch of mean comments under it.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Reported on Messenger:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Reported on Twitch:

If history repeats itself, I’m getting a pet dinosaur.

Going viral on Twitch:

Does anyone know where I can get my shit together?

Live now on Pinterest:

FOMO? No, I’ve got FOBI. Fear of being invited.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

Whoever named the meatball absolutely nailed it.

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

6 months ago

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the hot singles over 40 are not just asking for a date, but also for some health advice! 🔥💪 Forget pick-up lines, they want to know your joint pain secrets instead! 💬😂 Who knew finding love could also mean finding the best anti-inflammatory remedy? 🌿💕 #MatchmakingForPainRelief"

40, area, curiosity, dating, hot, hot single, humor, inflammation, joint, joint pain, over, over 40, pain, single, singles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

787 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,949

Funny Quotes Topics

13,921

Funny Quotes Images

10,949

19 minutes ago

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Did it hurt when you forgot your headphones and couldn’t romanticize your walk home?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

I got one brain cell left and it moves around my head like a Windows screensaver.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Be the reason someone smiles today. Or blocks you. Whatever.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I would love to have children one day. Two days maximum.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I can’t even think straight knowing a package got delivered while I’m not home.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Sorry for the things I said when the internet was down for 10 minutes.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Sex in the snow is wintercourse.

Trending via Twitch:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Going viral on Telegram:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s only Wednesday.

Shared recently on Instagram:

You’re never too old to become less of an idiot.

Going viral on Facebook:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Just landed via Messenger:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

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