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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Be warned: I’m bored. This could get dangerous.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The secret to my success is everywhere I go I wear a shirt that says STAFF on the back.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

People who don’t admit their mistakes disgust me. I would absolutely admit to a mistake if I had ever made one.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

I found there was only one way to look thin: hang out with fat people.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Oh, I have Christmas spirit. The question is: Do I mix it with coke or do I drink it neat?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

4,081

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

I need a room full of mirrors because I want to be surrounded by winners.

Just shared via Facebook:

I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.

Spotted on YouTube:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Broadcasted on X:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Trending via Twitch:

A little 9-5 with a little fraud on the side is the only way you gone survive in this world.

Spotted on Reddit:

Why are those Mad Max guys always driving around, it’s not like there’s anywhere to go?

Seen just now on Threads:

Halloween candy isn’t bad for you if you keep it in a salad bowl.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Going viral on Threads:

My burning question is who thought a two day weekend would suffice the human body.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

2 months ago

0

Hot singles over 40 in your area are curious what you use for joint pain and inflammation.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Looks like the hot singles over 40 are not just asking for a date, but also for some health advice! 🔥💪 Forget pick-up lines, they want to know your joint pain secrets instead! 💬😂 Who knew finding love could also mean finding the best anti-inflammatory remedy? 🌿💕 #MatchmakingForPainRelief"

40, area, curiosity, dating, hot, hot single, humor, inflammation, joint, joint pain, over, over 40, pain, single, singles

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Why are so many people going everywhere whenever I have to go anywhere?

0

2 months ago

anywhere, everywhere, frustration, going, humor, i, irony, observation, people, whenever
Elect a clown, expect a circus.

0

2 months ago

circus, clown, election, expectation, humor, politics, satire
Cars should have two horns, one for “excuse me, kind friend,” and another for “curse you and your family for generations.”

0

3 weeks ago

another, car, cars, communication, curse, driving, excuse, family, friend, generations, horn, humor, kind, me, rage, road, road rage, sarcasm, should
Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

0

2 months ago

context, ETA, humor, i, pass, patience, request, this too shall pass, time, too
Apologize for the job that you do. It would be nice if you were talented too.

0

2 months ago

apologize, apology, comedy, critique, humor, job, nice, sarcasm, talent, too, workplace
Things I hate about group work: The group.

0

2 months ago

collaboration, frustration, group, group work, hate, humor, i, sarcasm, teamwork, things, work

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

54 shares on Snapchat this month:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

91 shares on Discord this month:

One interesting thing I learned in my thirties is that you can leave a bar before it closes.

20 shares on Slack this month:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

13 shares on Pinterest this month:

Being called ‘my love’ is probably the cutest thing, like yes, that’s me. I’m the one you love. I’m the only one you love. I’m your love. Say it again.

74 shares on YouTube this month:

Every time your mom tells you that she wants the best for you, she is talking about me.

26 shares on Slack this month:

This year has been the perfect blend of me losing my mind and having the time of my life.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

27 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Burger King implies the existence of an entire burger based feudal system.

97 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I will never fall victim to groupthink. I have perfectly unique opinions that no one else has, and they are the dumbest nonsense you’ve ever heard.

40 shares on Discord this month:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

When I find it, I don’t need it. When I need it, I can’t find it.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The more nicknames I have for you, the more I like you.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you mad at me? Have you been mad at me? Will you be mad at me? When will you be mad at me?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

My recliner and I go way back.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Family Guy is so insane because, why were people dating that dog?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Onion rings? I’m answering.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

God’s plan for me does not involve LinkedIn at all.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Before marrying someone, listen long and hard to the sounds of their chewing, because that’s the soundtrack to the rest of your life.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,887

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I hate overhead lighting – trying to mimic the holy sun should be considered sinful. The lamp is much better, mimicking the hearths of our forebears.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Have you fallen in love with me yet, or do I need to post more nonsense?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

Work for a living? In this economy?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

Being a girl must be so easy. All you do is cry all day and text 10 different guys.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Manipulative people really be like “oh, so now I’m the bad guy for being the bad guy?”

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Unsolicited sandwich pics.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Of course, being a child is terrible. They don’t give you any money, and then make you watch commercials the whole time.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

I’ve never met a cake I didn’t want to fork.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I want a girlfriend so she can make me do shit like pottery, and I act like I don’t want to go.

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m not gaining weight, I’m retaining candy.

Seen just now on X:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

Seen just now on X:

My neighbors listen to really good music, whether they like it or not.

Shared recently on Slack:

Just saw a piece of jewelry made in the 80s described as “vintage,” so I’ll be laying down the rest of the day.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Shared recently on X:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Spotted on Slack:

Dear nurses, you don’t have to announce my weight, just write it down. That’s why I have my eyes closed when I’m on the scale.

Freshly posted on Threads:

We’re limited only by our imagination and some federal agencies.

Making waves on TikTok:

Why is it called Christian community and not Holyfans?

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