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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

Nighty night! Don’t let the horror of existence bite.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has downloaded:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I don’t know why everyone wants love like in the movies. A movie is only 2 hours.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has downloaded:

It’s so funny when someone writes a song to try to get someone to have sex with them. That’s what a bird would do!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

494 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,087

Funny Quotes Topics

17,241

Funny Quotes Images

15,087

Updated

Dec 19, 2025

Users Online

3,771

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

Trending via Pinterest:

It sucks when you realize it’s only Thursday, until you realize it’s Wednesday.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Turns out strange women lying in ponds distributing swords was a better basis for a system of government actually.

Spotted on TikTok:

Parents may forget many things, but they never forget who brought the noisy toys into the house.

Live now on Telegram:

Sure, breakups are hard, but have you ever had to wait for your phone to stop ringing so you can start using it again?

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Horse girls and cat ladies get all the attention, but what about crow women?

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

1 day ago

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Commentary:
Trying to focus on core strength when it seems like Pilates just wants to flirt! 😜💪🧘‍♀️

fitness, humor, joke, keep, longer, much, Pilates, pretend, pretending, sex, thing

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

1 month ago

ads, commercials, entertainment, fee, humor, just, month, monthly, monthly fee, need, pay, service, shows, streaming, streaming service, subscription, us
I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

1 month ago

bowl, cleaning, comfort, cream, distraction, guilty, guilty pleasure, hate, house, housework, i, ice, ice cream, lap, opera, pleasure, soap, soap opera, unexpected
Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

1 month ago

bus, character, comedy, everyone, humor, irony, main, main character, perspective, reality, self-importance, transportation
Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

2 weeks ago

CVS, destroy, energy, enough, every, exalt, experience, individual, own, powerful, powerful energy, store, store experience, unique, unique energy
I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

1 month ago

activity, climb, desire, funny perspective, humor, i, perspective, problem, problem-solving, rock, rock climb, solving, stairs, understand
My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

1 month ago

accomplishment, comedy, culture, done, family, fan, here, humor, monty, Monty Python, parenting, pop, pop culture, python, son, work

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

The great thing about playing the trombone is no one knows if you’re good at it or not.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

A fun wedding bit is to sit next to a random guest, point to the bride or groom & whisper, “it should’ve been you”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

While the optimist and pessimist argued about the glass of water, the opportunist drank it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Of course I have critical thinking skills, I’m thinking critically of you right now.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

My advice to young people to prepare for getting older is to start stretching immediately.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

Your secrets are safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

Trending via Pinterest:

There are three certainties in life: death, taxes and getting stuck behind a shit driver when you’re late.

Shared recently on Facebook:

If there was an award for staying at home, I’d win and then send someone else to pick it up for me.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Just landed via Threads:

I am not leaving this house until my hoodie strings are even.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

There’s a weird kind of grief that comes with late August, and I can’t explain it.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

If lying was a job some people would be billionaires.

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

The next man who speaks to me will be sacrificed to the gods for a bountiful harvest.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

We used to pass notes in class like spies. Folded like origami. Deep like Shakespeare.

My favorite delusion is that I just need to get through this week.

Stop dating if you have no car.

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Who decided that “microwaves that beep forever” was a feature we needed.

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

People believe that they have brains but maybe that’s just inside their heads.

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Establish dominance at work by drinking iced tea in a wine glass.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Tomorrow isn’t promised, we need to kiss today.

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

I have re-entered the Band of Brothers rewatch stage of male depression.

Imagine hating on me and I’m just in my room also hating on me.

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How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Everyone on the bus thinks that they are the main character, when in reality the main character is the bus.

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

My son loves Monty Python. My work here is done.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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