Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

You can’t hurt me. You’re not how I look first thing in the morning.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Another day without sex, but a mosquito just sucked on my neck and I moaned a little bit.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

Do clouds ever look down on us and say, “This one is shaped like an idiot”?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

Doing nothing is very hard to do. You never know when you’re finished.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

I’m not sure how long my body can handle this “getting out of bed early in the morning” nonsense.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Life is full of questions. Idiots are full of answers.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

My guardian angel is probably preoccupied with sports betting apps and generative AI, that’s why she’s letting all these bad things happen to me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,428

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

Black Friday used to have heart. I wanna see someone get clocked for a Wii.

Going viral on Telegram:

Dating apps aren’t working, time to walk into a cafe looking confused.

Trending via Snapchat:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Making waves on Instagram:

I leave the blue tick on WhatsApp so that people can see exactly when I wasn’t interested.

Going viral on Messenger:

wearing no bra and oversized clothes is self-care at its finest

Just shared via Twitch:

December. A desperate celebration of an end.

Making waves on Instagram:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Italians, look away now. I break my spaghetti in half before I cook it.

Spotted on TikTok:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Oh, you’re in a situationship? Are you the one with commitment issues or the one with low self-worth?

How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?

0
How old were you when you found out people in porn aren’t actually in love?
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Commentary:
Just found out they aren't in love, and now my heart needs its own parental advisory warning 😳💔😂

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on YouTube this month:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

54 shares on TikTok this month:

The older I get, the more I start to understand the appeal of birdwatching as a hobby. I do find myself watching these little troublemakers quite often.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Some days I feel I’m on top of the world, and other days it feels like the world is on top of me.

34 shares on Twitch this month:

I think every app should, by law, let you deactivate all of its short-form video content.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Me summer vacation planning: I’m going to Europe. Bank account: You’re going camping.

30 shares on Slack this month:

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

On my way to Mordor. You nerds need anything?

82 shares on Slack this month:

The problem with parental controls is I need my kid to help me figure out how to set them up.

39 shares on Instagram this month:

Embattled politicians resign saying they want to spend more time with their families. Do their families get a say in this?

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Killing with kindness is a murder by compliments.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

25 folks are currently checking 👀

A real smartphone would know when to shut up.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me looking zoned out, it’s because I’m having a therapy session with myself in my head.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If alcohol damages your short-term memory, imagine what alcohol can do.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s ride this misunderstanding into the sunset.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight we shall read a passage from the old testicle.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

But he was so nice on the prison phone calls.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,232

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

My boyfriend just said “I encourage you to try all things” to our cat who was licking up Buffalo sauce.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The way men eat when they’re single is nothing short of dehumanizing.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has copied:

My back and I are definitely not the same age.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

Mario Kart gave me unrealistic expectations of how banana peels affect traffic.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on WeChat:

A garlic a day keeps the doctor away.

Going viral on Instagram:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

That’s just brainslop. You only came up with that by thinking.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Seen just now on Facebook:

My kid is turning out just like me. Well played, karma. Well-played.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Women don’t pretend anymore to dig for something in their purse and then pull out their middle finger.

Going viral on TikTok:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Going bananas on Threads:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

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