Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Apparently, everyone on the Zoom calls outside my office finds my singing distracting.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Nowadays an “all-nighter” means I didn’t have to get up to pee.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I’m shocked it offended you, I was certain someone was gonna need to explain it to you.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

We should all go into advertising and fix what’s going on with commercials. They need our help.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Gang initiations from the Midwest be like “you have to eat the entire potato salad.”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Imagine being a bald vampire and every time you walk by a mirror your toupée is just floating.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

In the morning: Tired! At lunchtime: Tired! In the evening: Tired! In bed: “Everybody dance now!”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has downloaded:

One minute you’re young and carefree. The next minute you can feel in your knee when it starts to rain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Going viral on Reddit:

Quickie so fast, it’s called secs.

Just landed via Messenger:

Are you a software update, because not now!

Going viral on Facebook:

“You live and you learn!” Bro, I don’t want to do either of those things.

Making waves on Slack:

Jurassic Park came out decades ago, and now I feel like a fossil.

Reported on LinkedIn:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

Just shared via Messenger:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Reported on Facebook:

I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. Y’all just happen to be there.

Making waves on WeChat:

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.

Hug your children as often as you can. They can’t break things during this time.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Remember, hugging your children not only warms their hearts but also saves your fragile possessions! 🤗🧸 Just make sure they don't turn your favorite vase into a soccer ball later on! ⚽😜 #ParentingPriorities"

, , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

764 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,926

Funny Quotes Topics

13,898

Funny Quotes Images

10,926

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Friday the 13th doesn’t even feel creepy cause bad things happen everyday now.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I think the most financially irresponsible thing I’ve done is get my kids to like sushi.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Harry Potter is sort of crazy. I would have never fought a war for my high school.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

When I take a shower I’m: 5% cleaning myself, 10% singing, 85% making life changing decisions.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Slack:

Ladies, if a man says he will fix something, he will. There is no need to remind him every 6 months about it.

Reported on Discord:

The main difference between my dog and my kid is my dog responds to her name being called.

Going viral on YouTube:

I only see psychics so that I can keep arguing with dead relatives.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Phone so dry, I caught myself checking the weather.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If these walls could talk, they would definitely say “Wow, this guy really does add cheese to everything after all!”

Breaking via Threads:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just read the Ten Commandments for the first time and you can’t do shit with your neighbor.

Shared recently on Threads:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If someone leaves your life, it’s often because the actor playing them is getting cancelled in the real world.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴