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Commentary:
"Pro tip: Keep a cheap bottle of wine handy at all times – it's like a hospitality safety net for family gatherings! 🍷😄 Just make sure it's tasty enough to avoid any awkward conversations 😉 #FamilyTime"

always, bottle, cheap, drinking, family, hosting, house, humor, i, visit, wine

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

0

2 months ago

dating, delete, humor, me, media, online, online dating, post, posts, rejection, relationship, social, social media, soulmate
Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

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2 months ago

calm, ever, humor, irony, mental, mental state, paradox, state, stress
I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

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2 months ago

expectations, family, humor, i, irony, kids, parent, parenting, patience, patient
Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

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4 months ago

amusement, chaos, circus, fondness, grown, humor, monkey
Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

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2 months ago

communication, getting, getting left on read, humor, left, me, media, Nigerian, Nigerian prince, perspective, prince, read, relationships, social, social media, texting
Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

0

2 months ago

accuracy, anger, born, comedy, ghost, ghosts, height, historical, historical accuracy, horror, me, movie, nothing, research, screenwriter, tall

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

31 shares on Reddit this month:

If you think you’re going to be in a dangerous situation, dress accordingly. Don’t wear flip-flops to a bank robbery, for example.

29 shares on Discord this month:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

65 shares on Slack this month:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

86 shares on X this month:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

31 shares on X this month:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

47 shares on Discord this month:

Every single morning, I have to get out of bed and do things, and it’s bullshit.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

79 shares on Slack this month:

I caught my husband eating the last of the ice cream last night. First of all, we are supposed to be dieting together. Second of all, I was going to eat that.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Oh, him? He’s my insignificant other.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

My husband said we need to start exercising and get into shape, so I’m going to wake up early tomorrow and start looking for a new husband.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Sometimes it feels better not to talk. At all. About anything. To anyone.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Mocktails are awesome because they ask the question ‘how much could juice cost?’

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Reddit:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Spotted on Facebook:

Trust my gut? The thing that tricks me into buying gas station sushi and roller dogs? No thanks.

Just shared via Discord:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Freshly posted on Slack:

When your electric toothbrush dies, it becomes a regular toothbrush. Don’t freak out. Just calm down and remember your training.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m sorry I lied to you. I only did it for material gain. And to cause you psychological harm. And to prove I’m smarter than you.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Is there anything else I can assist you with today?” No, just that one thing you couldn’t assist me with, thanks.

Going bananas on Twitch:

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

Going viral on X:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

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Activity Log ✨

I always have a cheap bottle of wine in the house in case any family visit.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My soulmate probably seen my posts and deleted me.

Have you ever been so stressed that you’re calm?

I was the most patient parent and then I had kids.

Not my circus, but I’ve grown quite fond of its monkeys.

Getting left on read really gives me perspective on what Nigerian princes go through.

Nothing angers me more than tall ghosts in horror movies. No one born in 1782 was that tall. Do your research, screenwriters.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨