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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has bookmarked:

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The older I get, the easier it is for me to look at a situation and say: “Yeahhh, I’m out.”

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Maybe there’s an alternate universe where onions cry when they chop up humans, you don’t know.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

Goodbye, August, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has copied:

I need a stunt double for when I’m navigating my way to the bathroom at night.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

One day you’re 18 eating pizza for every lunch, then suddenly you’re 30 and eating salad with celery and kale juice.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,734

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

Shared recently on Discord:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Breaking via Reddit:

The future is buffering.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Being able to notice that a celebrity unfollowed another celebrity is some seriously jobless behaviour.

Trending via YouTube:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Making waves on Messenger:

They should let you spend one night in a house before you buy/rent it, just to make sure it’s haunted.

Making waves on WeChat:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I have a sundress and no man to bend me over in it, sad day.

Spotted on Threads:

I did some exercise in 2010, I should be good for another few years.

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Being a deluxe buffet for mosquitoes wasn't my career plan 🍽️🦟🙄

absolutely, am, annoyance, bite, delicious, hate, humor, i, insect, know, mosquito

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

0

2 months ago

American, American Idle, couch, furniture, humor, idle, laziness, pun, relaxation
I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

0

2 months ago

chase, humor, me, murderer, outrun, reassurance, safety
Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

0

2 months ago

chilling, classroom, first grade, funny moment, grade, just, kid, memory, moment, nowhere, remember, school, throw, throw up
I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

0

3 months ago

cliché, humor, i, just, love, mindset, people, philosophy, phrase, sarcasm, say, saying, stoicism
Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

0

2 weeks ago

figure, figure skating, humor, i, ice, ice rink, joke, medalist, niche, niche sport, Olympic, Olympic medalist, rink, skating, sometimes, sport, sport joke, walk
I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

0

2 months ago

anxiety, escape, ever, flatulence, helpful, humor, i, kidnapped, nervous, situation, think

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on Twitch this month:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

30 shares on Discord this month:

I lied, I’m jealous. I hope every girl who looks at you gets clipped by a meteor.

86 shares on Facebook this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

31 shares on Pinterest this month:

Missionary, so we can discuss how 15 min can save us 15% or more on car insurance.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

Money talks, and also waves goodbye.

43 shares on Facebook this month:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

54 shares on Facebook this month:

Flip me over like a cassette tape, and play me again.

53 shares on Discord this month:

If my coworker doesn’t stop asking questions on this Zoom meeting, I will drive across town and slap his face on the call.

67 shares on YouTube this month:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

94 shares on Slack this month:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Just once I’d like to buy a house plant that didn’t have the lifespan of a soap bubble.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

A guy in the parking lot saw me trip over my own feet so I yelled to him “I just quantum leaped into this body!”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

The medicine for headache goes to the stomach to do what, exactly?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Eating healthy requires a second job.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

You want to go out in the sun and then you can’t get the couch through the door.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

The more stupid the views, the harder it is to talk people out of them.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Going viral on Facebook:

Do u guys also have a story in your head, and when you’re bored, you just add more to it and continue from where you left off?

Just shared via Twitch:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Live now on Twitch:

Millionaires and multi-billion dollar companies be like, “We’re doing our part by asking the poor to donate to the poor.”

Just shared via Facebook:

Accidentally used my real personality at work today… heading to HR now.

Making waves on Slack:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m too old to be jingling all the way, I’ll jingle til about five thirty.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Making waves on YouTube:

I want whatever the people who run at 6 a.m. have.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I think fathers lose their mind a little bit when they realize their daughters aren’t as forgiving as their wives.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am absolutely delicious, and I hate how mosquitoes know it.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’ve named my couch American Idle.

I’ll make you feel safe in that you’ll know you can outrun me if we are being chased by a murderer.

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

Figure skating is so niche that sometimes I walk in the rink, and there’s an Olympic medalist there.

I think nervous flatulence would be helpful if you were ever kidnapped.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨