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"Finally, a cause that everyone can get behind! It's time for men to shine just as brightly… and lucratively 😏💸 #EqualityForAll #EqualityInEveryFan"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

0

2 months ago

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I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

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2 days ago

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No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

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2 months ago

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When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

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2 months ago

am, annoying, commitment, date, expectations, humor, i, know, late, marriage, mean, myself, relationship, saving, say, too, truth
When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

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2 months ago

cook, cooking, dating, flag, good, humor, man, quality, red, red flag, relationship, three
My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

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2 months ago

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New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Messenger this month:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

35 shares on Messenger this month:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

91 shares on Messenger this month:

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

27 shares on Threads this month:

My ego is bruised so I’m going to ice it with some cold beer.

30 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the doctor’s office, booing all the names being called that aren’t mine.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

42 shares on Telegram this month:

If she forgives you, then 30 minutes later comes back mad again: that means she told her friends in her group chat, and the board of directors did not agree.

86 shares on Reddit this month:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I use karate strictly as a last resort, after I’ve exhausted fleeing and screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

Another Netflix price increase? Guess we’re only chilling now.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

I thought my friends in their 60s were making love in the other room but they were just putting on their socks.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

Washing mushrooms is the quickest way to figure out exactly how much dirt you’re okay with eating.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Men be like, “You’ve been different ever since I disrespected you.”

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Spotted on Discord:

They should list at least one alien “as himself” in the Star Wars credits.

Spotted on YouTube:

Whoever named them fitting rooms has a lot of nerve.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why are there people outside at the same time as me? It’s my turn.

Just landed via Reddit:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Broadcasted on Slack:

She is so narcissistic that her narcissism has narcissism.

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Activity Log ✨

I am in favor of equal pay for men on OnlyFans.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨