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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

Group projects in school weren’t meant to teach you teamwork, they were meant to teach you how to deal with the incompetence of your coworkers in the workplace.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m going crazy, y’all. Coming with me?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I passed my genetic engineering exam with flying koalas.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Everyone is always talking about raising money for dogs without homes, but what about the ones who don’t have cars?

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Just found out my asexual friend was only using me for my companionship.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If anything I post makes you mad, just know that it pleases me.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

The amount of sleeping I’ve done over the past few days has been phenomenal. I genuinely love doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

The only men you can trust is ramen.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

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15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

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3,666

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

Shared recently on Discord:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Making waves on Discord:

I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.

Trending via Messenger:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Just shared via Discord:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Just shared via YouTube:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

Breaking via Slack:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Spotted on Slack:

Sometimes there is no way to debug besides staring at the code until you become enlightened.

Going viral on Slack:

A lobotomy and a forehead kiss would fix everything.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I do block people right away; you’re not going to stress me out on my own phone, with my own internet, and in my own house.

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Wait, so when do we get the "cool uncle/aunt" paycheck to fund this operation? 🤔💸😆

adulthood, believe, family, generosity, gift, give, humor, i, money, nephew, niece, responsibility, turn

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Social Media Stars ⭐

24 shares on WeChat this month:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

28 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

Uber drivers have secret access to a streaming service of exclusively the worst music you’ve ever heard.

45 shares on Threads this month:

If you don’t want to be in love with me that’s fine. You’re entitled to your wrong and very stupid opinions.

72 shares on Facebook this month:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

83 shares on WeChat this month:

Imagining how cathartic it must feel to send forth thousands and thousands of bats from your Transylvanian manor.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

52 shares on X this month:

Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

66 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I disagree with my politics.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Everyone is awful in their own special way.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Girls who leave clothing reviews with their height, weight, and size ordered are going to heaven.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has shared:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Hello! I’m Britain’s greatest spy and my catchphrase is: I tell you my real surname, then my real forename, then my real surname again, in case you missed it.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve just found my wide pants again. They weren’t gone at all, they’re just my tight pants now.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Every day is leg day when you’re running from your problems.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

Maturity is when you realize money can actually buy happiness.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

Trending via Pinterest:

Instagram should let you extend the run of one story for another 24 hours if the intended target didn’t see it.

Trending via Twitch:

I like that they put all that stuff outside for you to look at when you’re on a walk.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Spiraling out of control if anyone wants anything.

Trending via Discord:

I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Silence is my favourite form of communication in the morning.

Going viral on Twitch:

That moment when rappers mispronounce a word just to make it rhyme.

Breaking via Twitch:

Onion rings? I’m answering.

Just landed via Twitch:

If you like water, you already like 72% of me.

Just landed via Messenger:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

What we need is an evil Santa who steals our children’s most annoying toys.

Some people feel like unpaid actors in my sitcom called “What Fresh Chaos Is This?”

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

If your wife uses “I” it means she will be doing something. “We” means you will be.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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