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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

What do you mean a baguette isn’t a female bag?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Just saw a bird run across the street if you were wondering if anyone else is wasting their gifts.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Before Google, if you didn’t know something you had to go ask someone and most of the time they couldn’t help you, and now that’s also how Google works.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I received my electricity bill. I think they billed me for sunlight, divine light, and the light at the end of the tunnel.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

If I was a Spice Girl I would be Mild to Medium Spice.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor got slapped.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Dec 30, 2025

3,600

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Just shared via LinkedIn:

There should be a Jaws sequel where the shark finally gets arrested for his crimes and goes to jail.

Shared recently on X:

I think I just hit a Labubu with my car.

Just shared via X:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

Just shared via WeChat:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t need therapy. I need everyone who’s ever wronged me to suddenly feel a chill and not know why.

Going viral on Messenger:

It’s not a Sunday unless you completely waste it and then feel sad around 8 p.m.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

You think you’re your own worst critic? Just wait till you have kids.

Making waves on Telegram:

I will trust someone on Reddit from 11 years ago with my life before using ChatGPT for anything.

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

2 months ago

0

I can’t decide if people who wear pajamas in public have given up on life or are living it to the fullest.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless pajamas dilemma—are they embracing comfort or just waving the white flag of adulthood? 😴🛌 Either way, they’ve nailed the art of living life on their own cozy terms! 😂✨ Remember, sometimes the best fashion statement is a good laugh and a fuzzy onesie. 🎉🦄

comfort, decide, decision, fashion, fullest, fun, humor, i, irony, life, lifestyle, living, pajamas, people, personality, public, wear

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I just came across my wife’s Tinder profile and I’m so angry about her lies. She is not “fun to be around”.

0

2 months ago

across, angry, around, came, dating, fun, humor, i, just, ly, profile, relationship, Tinder, wife
To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

0

2 months ago

apology, everyone, humor, next, next year, place, repeat, same, same place, same time, time, wrong, wronged, year
Nobody rots in bed like I do.

0

2 months ago

bed, humor, i, lazy, nobody, procrastination, rot, sleep
The easiest diet is lack of money. You don’t have to do anything.

0

4 months ago

anything, budget, diet, eating, finance, humor, joke, lack, lifestyle, money, poverty
As I’m cleaning my room, this is a friendly reminder that you actually don’t need that free t-shirt or tote bag from that event.

0

2 months ago

actually, bag, cleaning, decluttering, event, free, free t-shirt, friendly, humor, items, need, reminder, room, t-shirt, tote, tote bag, unnecessary, unnecessary items
Hey girl, do you like my signals? I mixed them myself.

0

2 months ago

flirtation, girl, humor, i, line, mixed, myself, pick-up, pick-up line, signals

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Telegram this month:

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

25 shares on Discord this month:

Cashews are my favorite because they’re salty and hunched over just like me.

77 shares on Threads this month:

My fridge turns into a food retirement home, as soon as I buy groceries.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

I don’t understand how people use plastic wrap successfully.

66 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

94 shares on Slack this month:

People are teaching their dogs how to skateboard and my dog’s chart at the vet says “must be picked up, won’t walk”.

24 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Seriously? I came out of hibernation for this?

50 shares on Twitch this month:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

39 shares on Twitch this month:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to Elephant in the Room club, no one talks about it.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

With great power comes the absolute certainty that you’ll turn into a right douche.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The quality of clothing at retail stores today is quite literally the quality that Halloween costumes used to be.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,048

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I’m 27 and a half. I should be on my first divorce by now.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Ordered a coffee, and the barista said, “Anything else?” and I almost said, “Stability.”

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this right now, but it’s time to fold the laundry that’s been lying around since last Sunday.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Since you’re all so in love, switch phones for Valentine’s Day!

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

I think it broke my boyfriend’s heart when I said he couldn’t have Salma Hayek for Valentine’s Day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Today, I want to talk about underperforming continents. Antarctica, explain yourself.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Just shared via Telegram:

Human stupidity exists because if everyone were smart, we’d have no one to laugh at on the internet.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have never seen a single “when animals attack” video that I wasn’t rooting for the animal.

Live now on X:

Sometimes I wonder if the plot ever gets tired of being twisted.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Going viral on Instagram:

Don’t cry because it’s over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.

Breaking via Discord:

Called in, “I put the lime in the coconut and drank it all up.”

Seen just now on Slack:

Oh, how much I love a Sunday when you don’t have to work the next day.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

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