I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Mud season creeps up on us every year, destroying hearts and minds as well as light grey carpeting.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Please do not test me. I’ve been saving up my rage like PTO.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

The word Ohio looks like a tractor.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Imagine being a dinosaur. No work or bills. No drama. Just extinct.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Any cults got something wild planned anytime soon? I’m trying to find the good estate sales.

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Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

It’s always fun listening to someone’s lie when you already know the truth.