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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Google AI is awesome because it kills the planet and doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I don’t think I’d be so scared of spiders if they had eight tiny flip flops on.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Having a job is cool, but everyday? Come on!

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I talk to one guy, and he wants to break my heart. I talk to five guys, and they all wanna take me seriously.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, if you want to end your single life, you have to do something. So that’s not for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,290

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

If you stare at your face in the back of a spoon you look a lot like someone who doesn’t know how to use cutlery.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

Making waves on Instagram:

(british guy unhooking your bra) All right, what’s all this, then?

Live now on Telegram:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Shared recently on Threads:

Wouldn’t it be great if we could put ourselves in the dryer and come out wrinkle free?

Just shared via Telegram:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care… so it works out.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Body by sandwich.

Trending via WeChat:

When you really want to slap someone, do it and say, “Mosquito!

Just landed via Facebook:

Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.

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I can’t wait to get married so I can bring home unnecessary stuff and get yelled at for it.
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Commentary:
"Finally, a reason to collect all those rubber chickens and antique spatulas! 🍗👰💍😂"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish my midlife crisis made me want to get a gym membership and a revenge body, but instead I’m eating Snickers for breakfast in bed.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

67 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Maybe dogs are smarter than us because they found a way to get fed and housed without having to go to college and get a job.

73 shares on Messenger this month:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

54 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Dear Black Friday… We all have big TVs now, put the groceries on sale.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

I prefer not to think before speaking. I like being as surprised as everyone else by what comes out of my mouth.

56 shares on Instagram this month:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

43 shares on Facebook this month:

When a girl says “5 mins,” think about it like five minutes left in the 4th quarter, and both teams have all their timeouts.

51 shares on Messenger this month:

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

So I got a call from a telemarketer, and he said he couldn’t understand me. I told him, “Press 1 for English.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone is like “I’m funny because I have trauma and it’s a coping mechanism” and it’s like “Okay, not to add to your trauma, but you’re not funny!”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I only have one wish in life… For all my dreams to come true.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

The Sunday struggle is wanting to relax and wanting a clean house, but also not wanting to clean or move.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You live in a great city when you get pooped on by a seagull instead of a pigeon.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever I close an app and immediately open it back up, I really feel how dire it all is.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having an empty laundry basket is the best 5 seconds of my life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,720

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

Santa went woke and gave me a small solar panel instead of coal.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Don’t forget to be mean to strangers on the internet today, for no reason whatsoever.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Going from “I can fix her” to “I don’t care if she lives or dies” in the same beer.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has copied:

I’m very loyal to whatever brand is on sale.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I want to text this person, but I need to have shame and self-respect.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

Someone from 🇫🇮 has shared:

Old age comes at a bad time. Once you finally know everything, you start to forget everything you know.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Facebook:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Don’t bother telling me where you’re from, I have no geographical knowledge and no sense of direction.

Just landed via Instagram:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Been there, done that. Then, been there several more times, because apparently I never learn.

Making waves on Threads:

My signature move is forgetting someone’s name 2 seconds after they tell me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The holidays may be over by my work ethic is still out of the office.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite part of parenting is when the kids are bored enough to entertain themselves, but getting to that point is excruciating.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Wow, pretty rude for people to exist who are younger and hotter than me, but OK.

Going viral on Messenger:

Most meetings end with the conclusion that everything needs to be discussed in another meeting.

Just shared via Threads:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

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