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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I’m glad cars were invented. Imagine riding a horse at 3 a.m., coming back from the club.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’ve done the math and I regret to inform you I’m your soulmate.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

My boyfriend talks to everyone while I stand by quietly, planning my escape.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Slack:

“You’re a flirt!” God forbid a girl has good communication skills.

Trending via Discord:

Now that Christmas and New Year are out of the way, we can focus on the things that really matter: My posts.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I refuse to take a single bite of my food until I find something good on TV.

Trending via TikTok:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Going viral on Messenger:

Thinking about ignoring daily mess by creating new holiday decor mess.

Breaking via Messenger:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Going viral on Twitch:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Trending via Threads:

Thinking of starting a true crime podcast. Gotta explain this search history somehow.

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

6 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like he found the wrong kind of "ironic" love! 😉🎶 #YouOughtaKnow

alanis, Alanis concert, apology, caught, cheating, concert, humor, husband, i, infidelity, know, lyric, music, music concert, relationship, song, song lyric, thought

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

0

2 months ago

British, cultural, downstairs, humor, jump, jumping, just, Mary, Mary Poppins, never, open, people, poppins, stereotype, umbrella, whimsical, window
I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

0

2 months ago

age, aging, forgetfulness, humor, life, me, mind, station, thought, train, where
I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

0

2 months ago

bed, cops, humor, i, late, late night, night, own, party, ready, sleep
“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

0

3 months ago

doing, doing nothing, good, humor, i, laziness, motivation, nothing, paid, payment, procrastination, skill, wish, work
Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

0

2 months ago

anxiety, basic, coping, health, humor, intrusive, intrusive thought, looking, mental, mental health, recommend, recommendation, self-help, someone, thought, thoughts
BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

0

3 months ago

90, breaking, breaking news, business, finance, fund, funding, help, humor, news, OpenAI, partner, partnership, stock

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

17 shares on Telegram this month:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

My shadow quit because I’m too boring.

33 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

It took three employees to help me complete “self-checkout” yesterday.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Sugar held my hand through every breakup.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

19 shares on Threads this month:

Animals are so crazy because, why is your mom only one year older than you?

85 shares on Reddit this month:

That gap in my resume is from when I was lost at sea.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

People argue with me more in my head than they do in real life.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

The only thing keeping me from world domination is a good nap.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I am half agony, half hope.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

‘You’re going to die alone!’ Okay, when did dying become a group project?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I am awake. Please respect my privacy during this difficult time.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Robots eating a bowl of cereal that’s actually a bunch of nuts and bolts, you don’t see that as much anymore.

Trending via Threads:

An orgy where everyone looks identical is called a doppelgängerbänger.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Behind every funny man is a woman who rolls her eyes.

Freshly posted on Slack:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Old people like to golf every day because they are so sick of everyone’s shit and just wanna repeatedly whack something.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I really understand why boomers text with ellipses between everything… it feels so good…

Shared recently on Instagram:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Trending via Pinterest:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Spotted on Reddit:

Texting a man first feels like I’m on my hands and knees begging him to talk to me.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

“I’m so good at doing nothing. I wish I could get paid for it.”

Can anyone recommend some basic intrusive thoughts for someone looking to get into anxiety?

BREAKING: OpenAI to partner with OpenAI to help fund OpenAI. OpenAI up 90%.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨