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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

We should put a tariff on being mean to me.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

I was not meant for Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Next to nothing is a weird place.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

April fools prank: replace all the sugar in your house with cocaine.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

330 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,923

Funny Quotes Topics

17,095

Funny Quotes Images

14,923

Updated

Dec 12, 2025

Users Online

4,053

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re cheering for the stormtroopers, we cannot be friends.

Going bananas on Discord:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

In my experience, bowling and pancakes have the same energy. High hopes at the beginning, lowered self-esteem at the end.

Trending via Slack:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Making waves on Discord:

Any room can be a bathroom if you hate the person who’s house you’re in.

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Just give me a day and I'll start picking out curtains! 😂🏠✈️"

city, different, here, hours, humor, i, living, myself, observation, relocation, said, travel

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

1 month ago
4, 40s, adulthood, entertainment, humor, memory, only, password, pay, remember, service, services, streaming, streaming service, subscription, welcome
I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

2 months ago
9pm, born, fun, humor, i, night, party, tired, wild
Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

1 month ago
advice, crazy, humor, little, need, oh, reassurance, relationship, want, women
Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

1 month ago
cooking, cooking fail, cooking mishap, fail, funny moment, glasses, humiliation, i, just, kitchen, mishap, moment, sight, steam
I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

3 months ago
battery, change, detector, excuse, humor, i, just, lie, need, relationship, sex, smoke, smoke detector
In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

1 month ago
addiction, advice, alternative, case, funny advice, harmonica, humor, ID, music, quit, suggestion, vaping

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Fellas, if your lady is mad, ask her if it’s because she’s put on some weight. That’ll calm her down.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has shared:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Anyone who says there are no stupid questions is welcome to drop by my office. My colleagues will prove you wrong.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Prior to the arrival of Paper and Scissors, Rock faced no competition.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

My life changed when I learned some house spiders can’t survive outside, so now I just catch them and release them in a friend’s home.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

The shrooms told me that we need to get our shit together. That humanity is a bundle of bad habits. I’m headed back in a few weeks, and they need a response from us. What do I tell them?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Friends are God’s way of apologizing to us for our families.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Making waves on Discord:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I may join the cicadas this summer and just scream for six weeks straight.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

You will meet a girl who is very strange and a little bit evil. It’s really important that you don’t lose me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Trending via Discord:

Those who still fit in their wedding dresses years later haven’t been making enough effort eating.

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Activity Log ✨

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

I would like to unsubscribe from all responsibilities, please and thank you.

Everything is 10 times funnier when you are supposed to be quiet.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Being a woman is wild. I just cried, cleaned the house, had a snack, had a bath, and now I’m fine.

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

Getting a random boner is a bit funny. Like, what is it, boy? What do you see?

People used to fly kites. Glad that’s over with.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

My nutritionist told me wine doesn’t count as a fruit source so now I need to find a different nutritionist.

What did parents do before smart phones, hold their babies with two hands or something?

$20k in my bank account. – The k is silent.

If you’re soft, don’t come to my house, cause my kids will roast you.

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

People ask you, “are you crazy”, and then get scared when you answer, “yes”.

First date idea: I lean in close and surprise you with a wet willy.

If it walks like a duck and talks like a duck, you’re drunk. Ducks don’t talk.

Why can’t the house clean itself? It seems to get dirty by itself.

If parallel universe exist, I hope the other me is doing well.

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“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

I lied, there’s no sex. I just need you to change the batteries in my smoke detectors.

In case you wanna quit vaping, I’d suggest using a harmonica.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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