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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has viewed:

The thing I hate most about my stationary bike is having to pick it up and turn it around for the return trip.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Sorry for being late, I was enjoying my last few minutes of not being here.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

Sometimes my greatest accomplishment is keeping my mouth shut.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Why do birds love going apeshit first thing in the morning?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Teens don’t know how good they have it with lyrics sites. We used to have to sing shit wrong for years until the truth destroyed us.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

I don’t want your hoodie, I want your still-beating heart presented to me in a box.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Shopping at the dollar store makes me feel rich and poor all at the same time.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

One minute you’re young and fun, the next you’re excited about a new vacuum cleaner.

Spotted on Telegram:

I put on my Godzilla costume, then go to the miniature golf course to beat up the windmill.

Seen just now on YouTube:

There’s no filter on my pics or my thoughts. I’m just out here raw-dogging it.

Breaking via Threads:

Blackout curtains are dangerous, because it’s 1 p.m. outside and 1 a.m. in here.

Trending via Snapchat:

You ever wake up in the morning and your first thought is ‘I can’t wait to go to bed tonight’?

Making waves on YouTube:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

Just landed via YouTube:

My curse was lifted. Do you want to hang out?

Live now on Discord:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Seen just now on X:

That Coldplay CEO guy was held more accountable than the president.

Making waves on WeChat:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

3 months ago

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"Just give me a day and I'll start picking out curtains! 😂🏠✈️"

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19 shares on Facebook this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

10 shares on X this month:

Just saw my evil doppelganger speed away in a DeLorean. I’m sure it’s fine.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

The peace of not knowing.

62 shares on Telegram this month:

Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

I told my GPS I needed direction in life, and now it insists on recalculating every hour.

56 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

52 shares on Threads this month:

The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

This Monday could have been an email.

62 shares on Threads this month:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

Got out of jury duty yesterday by confessing to the crime.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

My favorite thing to do is nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

If a vegetarian who eats fish is a pescatarian, is a vegetarian who eats chicken called a poultrygeist?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Love when job applications ask for my desired salary so I can choose between not being hired and being exploited for my work.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

How quickly family vacations go from “Omg, we only have 4 days left” to “Omg, we still have 4 days left”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has shared:

I’ve reached that age where I don’t have to drink to forget because it just happens naturally now.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

The nice thing about wintertime is that it’s darker for longer, so you see a lot less people.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

People who work in retail should be allowed to slap a customer or two each Christmas, as a little treat.

Trending via Facebook:

If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Making waves on YouTube:

I made up all these romantic scenarios in my brain and you’re not following the script.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Making waves on Reddit:

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

Going viral on Discord:

The worst thing is finding out the “sweet guy” is just a lustful loser.

Spotted on Twitch:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

Freshly posted on YouTube:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

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Activity Log ✨

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

You don’t scare me. You’re not those two minutes when I can’t find my wallet.

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨