“I could see myself living here,” I said, in a different city for more than 24 hours.

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Telling your parents about your problems is like trying to put out a fire with gasoline.

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Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

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Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

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I’m too lazy to be a superhero. If I had laser eyes, I’d probably just use them to heat soup or something.

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Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

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And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

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Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

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My husband accidentally locked himself out of the house, and I didn’t hear him knocking until I finished eating the rest of his cheesecake. So weird.

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I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

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Be careful when you follow the masses sometimes the M is silent.