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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode the bikes when we were young.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

It triggers the little girl in me when I feel like I’m not being listened to when I’m talking.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Current relationship status: sleeping diagonally across the bed.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve heard so much about the “Eye of the Tiger,” but how come no one ever talks about the other four letters?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

As a proud husband and father in my 40s, my New Year’s resolution is to sneeze even louder this year.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

My wife didn’t order anything from Amazon yesterday, so the driver gave us a knock this morning to make sure we were OK.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

I like people who make me forget that I’m shy.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I just stand in the sun and stare at nothing, like a dog.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

The recipe I’m making specifically says allow to cook undisturbed, and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,382

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Threads:

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Just landed via Telegram:

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Live now on Telegram:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

All the observable evidence suggests that, if I was much worse at my job, I’d be more likely to get a promotion to senior management.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Not smiling until Friday; nothing is funny this week.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Anyone who doesn’t like me snoring, doesn’t deserve me moaning either.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Going viral on WeChat:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Seen just now on Slack:

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Going bananas on Reddit:

Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

2 months ago

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"Life motto: Treat yo'self! 🎉🍫 Because whether it's a plot twist or a happy ending, snacks are always the main character! 😄🍪"

always, bad, deserve, good, humor, i, motivation, routine, self-care, self-indulgence, self-love, simply, treat, treats, week, weekly, weekly routine

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Social Media Stars ⭐

92 shares on Threads this month:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

57 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

22 shares on Snapchat this month:

At least 80% of my day is spent holding back my inappropriate thoughts.

94 shares on YouTube this month:

I hate this time of year because all you guys care about is football, and no one wants to ogle my cleavage anymore.

73 shares on Threads this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

26 shares on TikTok this month:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

61 shares on Discord this month:

“Is everything okay?” Bro, nothing has been since I turned 12.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The inventor of autocorrect walked into a bar and ordered a bear.

34 shares on WeChat this month:

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

42 shares on Twitch this month:

You were there at the beginning of the Internet if you’ve heard the following: “Get off the web, I need to make a call!”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If she says “it’s fine,” you’re probably in trouble.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

It’s funny how cats have ears on top of their head, but don’t use them.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has viewed:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

You better be kissing the screen when I send pics.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has viewed:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Caffeine is not enough anymore, I need to chew on a power line.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Just shared via Telegram:

People who take care of chickens are literally chicken tenders.

Trending via Threads:

Maybe Rome was built in a day. I wasn’t there.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Men become instantly more attractive when they wear aviators; it’s science.

Just shared via Reddit:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

For the first time in history, you can simply post “He’s an idiot” and 90% of the world will know whom you’re talking about.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I can’t believe she picked her husband, her boyfriend and her other boyfriend over me.

Trending via Snapchat:

I need someone to peer pressure me into doing things.

Breaking via TikTok:

I am so tired ever my tiredness is tired.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I deserve a treat when I have a bad week, but I also deserve a treat when I have a good week. I simply always deserve treats.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Twitter is great because you can tweet “hi” and someone will tell you you’re wrong.

There’s nothing I hate more than being comfy in bed and suddenly needing to pee.

My goal weight is getting a magician to saw me in half.

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Saying “Who is it?” when the doctor knocks on the exam room door.

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨