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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I like work; it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

When the moon hits your eye like it’s 5:45, that’s November.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

Hello, my voicemail is currently unavailable. To leave a message please speak slowly and clearly into the nearest toaster.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

They need to invent a dishwasher with a window on it. I have to know what goes on in there.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Love triangle? You mean this Dorito?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

335 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,928

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,928

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,838

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Men love when you ask them to explain something to you. It is considered a sign of deep respect in their culture.

Just landed via Twitch:

Twitter is like attaching a message to a balloon, hoping that the right person somehow finds and reads it.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Awake? You may be entitled to compensation.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Just landed via Messenger:

The older I get, the more I walk like Charlie Chaplin.

Just landed via Telegram:

So apparently they don’t count as sit-ups if you’re just trying to get out of bed.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

1 month ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Probably not, they can't handle all this earthly awesomeness! 👽✨😆"

aliens, belief, believe, curiosity, extraterrestrial, humor, i, imagination, me, sci-fi

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

1 month ago

dating, different, end, fashion, having, humor, monogamous, multiple, partner, relationship, single, socks, try, variety
Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

4 months ago

communication, girlfriend, having, humor, insane, insanity, literally, relationship, respond, text, texting
It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

1 month ago

aliens, away, Earth, exploration, humor, intelligent, intelligent life, irony, life, observation, reason, science, space, space exploration, telescopes
It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

1 month ago

engagement, frustration, humor, media, metrics, need, popularity, social, social media, ten, views
You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

1 month ago

celebration, clothes, family, fit, food, humor, know, longer, overeating, success, successful, Thanksgiving
I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

1 month ago

activity, casual, casual activity, food, going, goodbye, guess, humor, i, just, swimming

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Welcome to your 40s! You’re gonna need several doctors, no matter how many apples.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Don’t come to my house unannounced. I will stare at you from my window.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I just turned on my car’s seat warmer to keep my burrito warm in case you wondered what I was up to.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Just landed via Twitch:

Lord, remove any laziness from my body and push me to my full potential the rest of this year.

Trending via TikTok:

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

Going viral on Threads:

Can we start the weekend again? I wasn’t ready.

Freshly posted on X:

I’m not mad, I just hope your socks slide off in your shoe all day.

Going viral on Slack:

For Halloween, I will be okay.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

By the time he entered rehab, Popeye was more spinach than sailor man.

“You have reached your monthly article limit,” – a website you’ve never accessed before today.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

New cinephile technique “method watching” — when you watch a movie and then act and talk like the main character for 2 months.

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Onion rings? I’m answering.

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

You’d be surprised how many times you can use the word succulent in a work email.

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Inventing the Grinch: “Santa needs a Wario!”

Why do men always think “looking for fun” means sex? Wat if I want us to draw?

Feminism convinced women they could have it all. Now they’re 40, independent, and crying in a very nice but empty apartment.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

If I eat a magnet, will I become more attractive?

Movies in the 80s had me convinced that a main part of being a grown-up was staying late at the office and eating Chinese takeout.

Processed food was literally designed for you to eat. Organic is just some crap they found on the ground somewhere.

They say money can’t buy happiness, but could someone just give me a lot of it and let me see for myself?

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I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

It is not without reason that all telescopes searching for intelligent life are pointed away from Earth.

It’s like ten thousand views when all you need is a like.

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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