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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

I don’t go crazy. I am crazy. I just go normal from time to time.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

May her tire get flat with a dude who can’t change it.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

People in glass houses shouldn’t throw orgies.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Guys, please stop wearing NASA shirts, I bet you can’t even name one of their songs.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Cigarette smell gotta be one of the worst smells in the history of smells.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Follow me on Instagram if you want to see me post absolutely nothing for weeks.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I can handle most things in life, but hearing people chew isn’t one of them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,518

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Spotted on Slack:

Netflix & by yourself.

Making waves on YouTube:

Why is being alive so expensive? I’m not even having a good time.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m buysexual, you buy me food, I become sexual.

Shared recently on Slack:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Trending via Discord:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Spotted on X:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I swear, if my memory was any worse, I could plan my own surprise party.

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Probably not, they can't handle all this earthly awesomeness! 👽✨😆"

aliens, belief, believe, curiosity, extraterrestrial, humor, i, imagination, me, sci-fi

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

0

2 months ago

beloved, beloved life, death, emotional, emotional humor, harm, humor, irony, life, life struggle, me, pain, struggle
Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

0

4 weeks ago

appearance, bet, fashion, female, good, humor, i, internet, much, naked, online, sweater
The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

0

3 months ago

backstory, horror, live, mood, October, seaside, seaside town, seasonal, seasonal mood, sleepy, sleepy town, small, small town, spooky, spooky vibe, town, urge, vibe
I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

0

3 months ago

asking, child, feeding, feeds, feel, food, healing, i, inner, inner child, kindness, me, sharing, someone, surprise
Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

0

5 months ago

28-day, 28-day challenge, challenge, daily, daily goal, goal, humor, i, motivation, no-swearing, procrastination, restart, self-improvement, started, today, tomorrow
I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

0

2 months ago

dislocation, fracture, humor, i, interest, laziness, procrastination

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Maturing is when you’d rather drink your bourbon half-naked on the couch than go out.

28 shares on Threads this month:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

“God has a plan for you!” Okay, well, I have some notes for him.

89 shares on Messenger this month:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

If you love someone be brave enough to tell them. Otherwise be brave enough to watch them dating someone else.

64 shares on Telegram this month:

A chocolate advent calendar is a test of restraint that I simply do not have.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Good morning. Does anyone know what is right and what is wrong?

90 shares on Telegram this month:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

18 shares on Reddit this month:

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

77 shares on Facebook this month:

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

“Doing the dishes” is completely pointless and only wastes water. You’re just going to put food on them again in a few hours.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Hello, boyfriend? It’s me, girlfriend, from dating?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

Just broke a clothes hanger and now have seven years of bad outfits.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Gosh, being a princess is exhausting.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

A moment of silence for those who hate us but can’t unfriend us because they’re afraid of not knowing what’s happening in our lives.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Facebook:

If I meet you at a party and you instantly start asking about my job, you are subhuman to me.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Lady on the streets, Cheeto crumbs in my sheets.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I do believe in aliens, but do they also believe in me?

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Females be naked so much online, I be like, damn, I bet she look good in a sweater.

The October urge to live in a sleepy seaside town with a horrifying backstory.

I like it when someone feeds me their food without me asking. I feel like a part of my inner child heals.

Today, I started a 28-day no-swearing challenge, which I will restart tomorrow.

I fractured my laziness and dislocated my interest.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨