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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Dating apps never work for me because I need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

Not to brag, but I just walked upstairs and remembered why.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

332 this month

Funny Quotes Total

14,925

Funny Quotes Topics

17,098

Funny Quotes Images

14,925

Updated

Dec 13, 2025

Users Online

3,642

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Making waves on Reddit:

Is this art or trash?

Broadcasted on Facebook:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Going viral on Slack:

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

3 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Poking the day to check if it's still alive 😂👉☀️🤔 #EwFactor

always, day, ew, finger, hesitation, humor, i, index, index finger, poke, procrastination, seize, seize the day, sometimes

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

1 month ago

accidental, available, book, casual, coffee, coffee table, humor, media, new, novelty, pre-order, screenshot, screenshots, social, social media, table, tech
My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

2 months ago

apologize, beauty, family, humor, joke, making, me, parents, self-deprecation, still, ugly
Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

1 month ago

activity, answer, break, carnival, children, fun, fun activity, gaggle, humor, party, piñata, playful, violence
Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

1 month ago

annoyance, call, conversation, etiquette, illegal, phone, public, should, speaker, speaker phone
Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

1 month ago

dead, existential, humor, inside, only, sarcasm, waist, worry
I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

2 months ago

bed, bedtime, blanky, club, club bed, dj, DJ Pillow, humor, mc, MC Blanky, pillow, relaxation, sleep

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Sorry, boss, I can’t come into work today. I’m trying to capture the childlike joy of December.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

It’s romantic to fall in love during the collapse of society.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

You gotta act cool, calm, and collected around liquid eyeliner because it can sense your fear.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has viewed:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

He thinks I’m so smart because I read books. Baby, they is FAWKING in these books.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Shoutout to the friends that still like me. All two of you.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Instagram:

I have some cake and now I’m eating it too. Not seeing the problem here.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Prime numbers are so cunty. Like okay, diva — only divisible by yourself?

Going bananas on Slack:

Emotions? No thanks. I’m trying to cut down.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I’m so disappointed when I help my kid with her homework, and she brings it home marked incorrect.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Trending via WhatsApp:

“Lmao” has survived and even thrived over the years, but its cousin “rofl” has faded into indignity. The cruelty of fate.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Cigarettes are a better networking tool than LinkedIn could ever dream of being.

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

When you’re two beers in, and you realize she looks like God.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trust my gut? The thing that can’t even handle milk.

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Can you imagine being a 7th grade girl and being able to see your crush’s bedroom during Zoom math class.

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Striking gold in your 40s: finding a close parking spot that’s in the shade on a hot summer day.

Dear diary, sorry for only ever talking about myself. How are you? Do you have any hobbies?

Filling animals with helium is kinda weird, but whatever floats your goat.

HR has told me to stop saying ‘How stupid can you be?’ to members of staff. They’re worried it’s being taken as a challenge.

Your ex is ruining someone else’s life now. You are safe.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

My summer body has been pending for about ten years.

You have one week to ask me to be your Valentine. Requests must be in the form of poetic verse written in your blood.

Therapy is life letting you speak to the manager.

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

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I don’t always seize the day. Sometimes I poke the day with my index finger and go, ew, ew, ew, ew.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

My parents still haven’t apologized for making me ugly.

Violence is not the answer, unless you’re a gaggle of children instructed to break into a piñata.

Speaker phone in public should be illegal.

Don’t worry, I’m only dead inside from the waist up.

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

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