Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Teaching valuable life lessons one snack at a time. 🤫🍪 Because sometimes a little white lie is necessary for the greater good…of our taste buds! 😋 #SnackGate"

believe, children, deception, fine, food, good, hidden, honesty, humor, i, lying, parenting, snacks, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

0

2 months ago

acceptance, again, attitude, frustration, humor, i, just, mad, ok, reaction
The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

0

2 months ago

aisle, audacity, frustration, humor, i, peeve, pet, pet peeve, shopping, someone, store, want
Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

0

2 months ago

action, favorite, humor, inaction, least, least favorite, procrastination, take, taking, thing
Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

0

2 months ago

always, Anglo, answer, contacts, electric, humor, i, just, landlord, Mike, name, names, phone, phone contacts, phones, realization, surname
This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

0

2 months ago

best, fun, getting, having, humor, irony, job, leisure, life, me, sarcastic, thing, whole, work
Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

0

2 months ago

dating, expectations, humor, man, nobody, relationship, stress, woman

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

44 shares on Pinterest this month:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Are we all getting a front-row seat to the end times, or what?

29 shares on X this month:

I’m doing pretty good for someone who rarely has a clue.

18 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m ever found dead in the woods, it’s probably because I was trying to pet a bear.

40 shares on Slack this month:

How do you know I’m not just a figment of your imagination?

74 shares on Threads this month:

I’m pretty sure my husband’s favorite sound is the oven range fan turning on when I start making dinner.

55 shares on Discord this month:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

I don’t know much, but I do know melancholia is a way cooler diagnosis than depression.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

The romantic says that there is the right partner for everyone. The realist says: only one person has to choose the wrong one and then it won’t work out for everyone!

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

I poked your tweet with a stick, hoping it would do something.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

Nothing messes up your Friday like realizing it’s only Thursday.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid-physique and a relatively clean house.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

The human body requires so much maintenance. Who designed this thing?

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Cinderella was a mess. I mean, I have bad taste in men, but at least I never settled for a guy who couldn’t remember what my face looked like.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I will never sell out my integrity unless I am offered something for it.

Spotted on Messenger:

Losing weight in your 40’s: LOL!

Spotted on Threads:

Getting paid to sleep would be such a dream job.

Going viral on Instagram:

The biggest lesson employment has taught me is that efficient workers get punished with more work.

Making waves on Twitch:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Freshly posted on Threads:

The cashier said, “Have a good day,” but she doesn’t mean it.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Live now on Discord:

If someone asks you: ‘Why are you single, don’t you like people?’, answer: ‘Why aren’t you a millionaire, don’t you like money?’

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I don’t get mad anymore. I’m just like “again?” Ok then.

The audacity of someone being in the store aisle I want to go down.

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Nobody stresses a woman out more than a man who isn’t her man yet.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨