Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

The longer I stay home, the more homeless I look.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My mom always used to tell me that I look cute when I sleep. My boss has a different opinion.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The person opposite me has a donut. I do not have a donut. That should be my donut. This person is now my arch nemesis.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Some people buy shoes to feel alive. I buy boarding passes.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

Peter Parker having to juggle a day job with being a superhero feels kinda stupid nowadays. Just launch a Patreon, my man. Throw a PayPal link in that Spider-bio.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Coffee is just goth water.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why do men stay in the car for minutes after arriving home?

Trending via Threads:

Girl math is deactivating social media accounts to avoid only one person.

Spotted on Instagram:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

If I were Noah, I’d bring three of every animal just to create some drama.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m so good at missing early morning meetings, I can do it with my eyes closed.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I don’t have gray hair, I have wisdom highlights.

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"When your workout routine doubles as a self-defense class! 🤸‍♂️🥋😅"

accident, burpee, clumsy, doing, exercise, face, humor, i, knee, myself, time, workout

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

0

2 months ago

1, 3, Christmas, gift, holidays, humor, i, me, package, self-care, shopping
I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

0

2 months ago

actually, affection, compliment, flirting, humor, i, ID, learn, much, number, phone, phone number
A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

0

2 months ago

away, big, countertops, daily, daily life, home, humor, job, life, moving, parent, parenting, responsibility, safety, things
Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

0

5 months ago

bad, bad hair day, day, due, frustration, hair, humidity, humor, violence, weather
I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

0

2 months ago

call, comfy, dress, fashion, floral, flortato, humor, i, me, nelly, Nelly Flortato, potato, self-deprecation, today
I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

0

2 months ago

better, country, country music, helpful, humor, i, music, noise, playing, read, relaxation, sleep, somewhere, sound, white, white noise

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Telegram this month:

I apologize to my future son for the delay, but it’s just your mom ain’t replying.

48 shares on Messenger this month:

Chugging a woman’s entire drink at the bar and then saying “you’re safe, there is nothing in your drink.”

72 shares on Twitch this month:

I travel like I’m rich, then eat like I’m broke.

31 shares on Threads this month:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

63 shares on Pinterest this month:

Waiting for the websites to start offering pizza instead of just cookies.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

81 shares on Reddit this month:

I will marry a tall, masculine, lovey-dovey man who can’t breathe when I ignore his existence.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

46 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I personally get offended when rain is referred to as “bad weather.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I bet the person who named the fireplace also named the waterfall.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Are you really a personal trainer or do you just want to wear shorts to work every day?

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

They say an apple a day keeps a doctor away. But what do I need to eat to keep everyone away?

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I hope this out-of-office message finds you well.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

When I was a little kid, I used to think, “This little pig went to market,” meant it was going shopping!

Shared recently on Slack:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past two years.

Going bananas on TikTok:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Going bananas on Slack:

Don’t worry password, I’m insecure too.

Just landed via X:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought putting your heart and soul into a relationship would make it work.

Spotted on Reddit:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

Spotted on Slack:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

Just landed via Threads:

I’ve been on Facebook for so long, I remember when it all used to be farmland.

Seen just now on Slack:

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t do exercise because one time I kneed myself in the face doing a burpee.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I haven’t bought 1 Christmas gift but I got 3 packages on the way for me though.

I like you so much, I’d actually learn your phone number.

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

Due to the humidity, my hair has chosen violence.

I’m in a comfy dress today, but I look like a potato in floral. Call me Nelly Flortato.

I read somewhere that playing white noise helps you sleep better, but I didn’t find country music helpful at all.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨