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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

We should just cancel April Fools Day this year. No prank can top reality right now.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

The neighbor sneezes loudly from the balcony. And because I’m a polite person, I shout loudly: Disgusting!

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

The way Adele works for 6 months and then disappears for 7 years is very much the work-life balance I’m all about.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

The easiest way to shop with kids is not to.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

It’s not jingling to you that I’m standing on Christmas.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

It’s called a “sports car” because getting out of one after 40 is a physical event.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I may be sensitive, but everyone else could be a little kinder, too.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,467

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Live now on WeChat:

According to the BMI chart, I am too short.

Just landed via YouTube:

Video games are great. They let you try out your craziest fantasies. For example, on The Sims, you can have a job and a house.

Shared recently on Slack:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Just landed via X:

Petition to make check-in at hotels 11am and check-out 3pm, not the other way around. Like, WTF?

Just shared via Reddit:

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Broadcasted on Discord:

January feels like a schizophrenic episode.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Who needs a glass of wine when you can have a plate of suffering served raw, am I right? 🍷😩 Stay strong, my friend, suffering in style! 😂👌"

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Keep the laugh going 😂

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Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Twitch this month:

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

78 shares on Threads this month:

Photos are cool because they are like now but for later.

100 shares on X this month:

It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one week of purchase.

92 shares on WeChat this month:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

20 shares on Slack this month:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

71 shares on Facebook this month:

It’s important to set an alarm the first day of school, so you remember to pick up the kids.

94 shares on Pinterest this month:

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

I don’t care about life on other planets. I don’t even have a life on this one.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

48 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When they know you know they did you dirty, they stay gone. And that’s the best thing.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My hobbies include going home, wishing I was at home, and being at home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, would it kill you to meow back?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so beautiful to see people just give up at work this time of year. I’m getting emails that do not include any complete sentences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,251

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

You’ll be watching a series, and they’ll just randomly start playing the best song you’ve ever heard in your life.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Why do they make the wine glass so large if you’re not supposed to fill it to the top?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Having a mom who cooks good food is such a big flex.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

They are all liars, so just pick the tallest and enjoy.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Sports bars exist. There should be bars for monitoring the situation.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

Someone from 🇨🇴 has copied:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Going viral on Facebook:

The fact that I have more clothes to sleep in than I do to go out in says a lot about who I am as a person.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Going viral on Reddit:

What is rizz if not swag persevering?!

Making waves on Instagram:

People found guilty of not using punctuation deserve the longest sentence possible.

Live now on Pinterest:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Rather than touching grass, I recommend going to a concert and experiencing the live performance of that one song you hold religiously close to your heart.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Just shared via Telegram:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

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