Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Who needs a glass of wine when you can have a plate of suffering served raw, am I right? 🍷😩 Stay strong, my friend, suffering in style! 😂👌"

alcohol, choice, drink, humor, i, joke, lifestyle, personal, personal choice, raw, suffering

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

0

2 months ago

accomplish, activity, agenda, everyone, fun, fun activity, hope, i, party, reveal, surprise, things, weekend
Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

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2 months ago

awkward, awkward moment, childcare, come in, date, dropping, ever, gathering, hear, humor, kid, kids, moment, parent, play, play date, social, social gathering, words
My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

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4 months ago

alarm, before, best, humor, minutes, morning, nap, ones, rest, right, sleep, three, tired, wake up
I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

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2 months ago

connection, deep, humor, librarian, love, people, reading, shut, shut up, silence
I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

0

2 months ago

activity, dating, fun, fun activity, home, i, kids, marriage, night, relationship, singles, singles night, surprise, thought, wife
I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

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2 months ago

actually, attitude, balance, entitlement, even, going, humor, i, irony, little, thankfulness, today, too, ungratefulness, yesterday

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Slack this month:

Super excited about a brand new week of hanging on by a thread.

82 shares on Slack this month:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

My new drivers license arrived and when I opened it, I gasped. How’d they get a picture of my mother?

93 shares on Slack this month:

Think that’s enough todaying for today.

79 shares on Instagram this month:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

57 shares on Discord this month:

Whales go days, sometimes weeks at a time without giving anyone their opinion.

83 shares on WhatsApp this month:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

86 shares on YouTube this month:

Limiting my replies to introverts, wizards, freaks and vampires only.

43 shares on Snapchat this month:

I am very depressed and in a really bad mood. Perhaps it will get better if I sit inside on a beautiful day and dwell compulsively.

34 shares on TikTok this month:

Learn from the mistakes of others, you can never live long enough to make them all yourself.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Too young to retire, too poor to quit and too fat to strip – so let’s move on.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

The Jaws theme stays on during sex.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has bookmarked:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

My intern was born in 2007. I have unread emails older than that.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I’m not addicted to coffee. We’re just very close.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Just shared via YouTube:

Roses are red, violets are blue. Your parents are very disappointed in you.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I saw an ad for the ultimate dog bed, but my dogs already have the ultimate dog bed. It’s called my bed.

Just landed via X:

I told my suitcase we wouldn’t be going on vacation this year; now it’s dead inside and I’m left with emotional baggage.

Trending via Messenger:

I’m glad the makers removed all the unnecessary sex scenes from my life, so I can focus on character development.

Making waves on Facebook:

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Live now on YouTube:

Someone needs to press pause on this weekend.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Going viral on Instagram:

Women will invite you to shower with them, then cook you alive with a temperature of water you didn’t know existed.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I don’t drink alcohol. I like suffering raw.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Three words no parent ever wants to hear when dropping their kid at a play date: “Come on in.”

My best three minutes of sleep are the ones right before the alarm goes off.

I feel a deep connection to librarians because I also love telling people to shut up.

I met my wife at a singles night. I was surprised as I thought she was at home with the kids.

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨