Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

The sound of a buzzing fly is enough to ruin my whole mood.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If I text you an accordion emoji, it means you better start acting accordingly.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

The egg doesn’t swim to the sperm, girl. Never chase a man.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Always funny to see motivational posts from people I know are toxic in real life.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

If only guys would moan in bed like they do in the gym…

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Can someone please help me, I’m still at the Fyre Festival.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but if you talk on speakerphone in public, everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I hate it when I go to hug someone sexy and hit my head on the mirror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

216 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,485

Funny Quotes Topics

17,557

Funny Quotes Images

15,485

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,461

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Trending via Threads:

I don’t understand the concept of “the man of your dreams”. Every time my wife wakes up after dreaming about me, she is really pissed off about something dream me did.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Threw my back out due to overwhelming sensuality again.

Shared recently on Slack:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Live now on Reddit:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

Freshly posted on X:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Spotted on Reddit:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Going viral on Reddit:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Hamsters: those cute little masterminds of household chaos! 🐹😱💥

animal, animal humor, ever, everyone, experience, feel, hamster, humor, i, kind, pet, traumatic, traumatic experience

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

0

4 weeks ago

boyfriend, breakup, crop, dad, end, family, humor, joke, new, photo, picture, sister, stand, told, whenever
Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

0

2 months ago

calorie, diet, eating, food, good, health, humor, joke
Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

0

1 month ago

dating, humor, love, lover, lovers, real, relationship, single
The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

0

1 month ago

attitude, exaggerated, exaggeration, humor, live, resilience, rumor, rumors, sarcasm, will to live
Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

0

5 months ago

cartoon, cartoons, childhood, classical, classical music, contrast, humor, kid, kids, maybe, music, nostalgia, reason, saw, violence
I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

1

2 months ago

better, choices, decisions, humor, i, irony, life, life choices, memoir, mistakes, regret, self-awareness

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on Threads this month:

I wanted to study psychology, but I have more potential as a patient, to be honest.

16 shares on Telegram this month:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

93 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m bringing back “hold your horses” and nobody can stop me.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Whoever said “out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear inside their tent.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

Life hack: put on an apron at home and people think you’re super busy doing important stuff even when you’re not.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

35 shares on Reddit this month:

It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.

31 shares on Discord this month:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

94 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Hold music is annoyingly scratchy and repetitive on purpose, so you will hang up and stop bothering them.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

The first five days after the weekend are the worst.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Cops wake up Christmas morning excited as hell to ignore their family and go sit on the highway with a radar gun for 10 hours.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I always work very hard and intensively to ensure that my wife can proudly say: “That idiot over there? Yes, that’s mine!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

Don’t forget to make everything about you today.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has bookmarked:

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

Not leaving the house and not having contact with other people. The punishments of my childhood are now my hobbies.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

You’re either snacking with me or snacking against me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

This coffee is not coffeeing the way I need it to be coffeeing.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

Spotted on Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have a favorite vegetable peeler.

Trending via TikTok:

Making waves on Twitch:

“Your password is too weak.” OK, well, I created him in my image.

Trending via Twitch:

Girls flirt by orbiting your general location like an electron.

Going viral on Instagram:

I came home to find my boyfriend mopping the floor and my first thought was, “who’d he kill?”

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I saw The Blair Witch Project way too young and it made me afraid of projects.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Does my career know that I’m pursuing it, or is it another one-sided relationship?

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m starting to think the voice in my head doesn’t like me very much.

Live now on Twitch:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I feel like everyone who has ever had a hamster has some kind of traumatic experience with it.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

My dad told my sister’s new boyfriend to stand at the end of the picture so he can crop him out whenever she dumps him.

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

The rumors of my will to live have been greatly exaggerated.

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

I Knew Better, But I Did It Anyway: A Memoir

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨