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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

As an outsider, what’s your view on intelligence?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

God: “I genuinely don’t remember making you all this stupid.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My cats won’t talk to me because I came home late from work.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

It probably feels so good to ram your head into something as a cat.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

Men can be sorted into two camps: the ones who get haircuts way before they need them, and the ones who wait until people in their lives are complaining.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

I’m broke — I got money, but it’s for responsibilities.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,676

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Instagram:

Dads hate stopping on road trips because then all of the vehicles they worked hard to pass for the last hour get back ahead of them.

Spotted on TikTok:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Going bananas on X:

If consuming too much caffeine causes short-term memory loss, just imagine what consuming too much caffeine can do.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

Just landed via X:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Spotted on Reddit:

I secretly want you to say no when I offer you some of my cake.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

Just shared via Messenger:

I consider the second page of Google results the dark web.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Breaking via Facebook:

A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

3 weeks ago

Playful quote about finding joy in embarrassing children as you age. Funny and lighthearted text.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the pure joys of parenthood! 😂👩‍👧‍👦 Who knew that embarrassing your kids could be such a rewarding pastime? Just another perk of getting older – gaining more opportunities to hilariously mortify your offspring! 😜🙈 #ParentingGoals #LittleJoys

aging, bring, children, embarrassing, embarrassment, family, happiness, humor, i, joy, little, little things, me, older, parenting, things

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on Telegram this month:

Everyone you know is fighting battles you don’t know about, except for my neighbor who just can not shut up about his battles.

49 shares on WeChat this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Breaking a heart is considered bad, but melting a heart is somehow good.

98 shares on Pinterest this month:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

76 shares on Facebook this month:

Asking doctors about nutrition is like asking software engineers about printers, they really have no idea.

96 shares on Twitch this month:

You can tell a lot about a person by breaking into their home and going through their belongings.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

72 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

41 shares on Facebook this month:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

37 shares on Slack this month:

FaceTiming me is for platinum members only.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

What are some good jobs for someone with no passions, interests, motivation, social skills, or strengths?

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Chuck Norris can rub two fires together to get a piece of wood.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m opening a secret ice cream club called The Inside Scoop.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,455

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Don’t buy roses for her, buy chicken nuggets. Show her you really care.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

The struggle to get off the couch and into bed is real.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

Netflix & by yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Saw a girl in a Franz Ferdinand T-shirt. She couldn’t even name three other main causes of the outbreak of World War I.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

Pitching a sitcom where all the top people running a major city have been arrested and by chain of command the person in charge is now a librarian.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I hope this email punches you square in the face.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Shared recently on Instagram:

My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

Seen just now on Messenger:

We really do need a separate grocery store for people who’ve been on Earth before.

Making waves on Instagram:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Just shared via Slack:

Ugh, those red and blue flashing lights are interfering with my driving and scrolling.

Trending via Threads:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Just took a nap in jeans. No one will ever understand the darkness that lurks inside me.

Just landed via Snapchat:

This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Making waves on TikTok:

True luxury is sleeping until you wake up by yourself.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Welcome to your 50s: You’re not attracted to anyone who likes you.

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