Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so glad when summer is over and I finally don’t have to see any feet on the internet anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Shooting a gun in the air to get everyone’s attention, then immediately getting shy and sheepishly twisting my shoe in the dirt and blinking bashfully.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

Your posts make me wish I could forget how to read.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve spent 80% of my adult life resetting my password.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

My playlist is so random, I be heartbroken, thugged out, and yeehaw all at the same time.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

I’m getting to the age where it’s rude to pull out a bottle of ibuprofen if I don’t have enough for everyone.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Every email sent to me should end with ‘but if your tummy is hurting, don’t worry about it.’

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

You have to stay up as needlessly late as possible to make the next day as horrible and hard as possible.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

240 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,509

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,509

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,684

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

To me, essential oils are what drips out of tacos.

Just shared via Telegram:

Salt is just angry sugar.

Shared recently on Slack:

It would be nice to see basic human decency make a comeback.

Just shared via Discord:

Being a sleepy girl with a busy life is so hard.

Seen just now on Threads:

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

Seen just now on YouTube:

I’m at the stage in life where I stay out of arguments. Even if you say 1+1=5, you’re right. Have fun.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I no longer need an alarm clock because I’m over 40 and have a bladder.

Breaking via Threads:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

The Titanic is a great lesson of why “just the tip” can get you into a whole lot of trouble.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
My brain's confused buffet is open 24/7! 🤔🤷‍♂️🤣

afternoon, confused, confusion, daily, daily life, easily, evening, humor, i, life, morning, tiredness

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

0

1 week ago

class, education, humor, paid, sarcasm, self learning, student, teaching, tuition, university, yourself
My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

0

2 months ago

humor, i, laundry, left, machine, minute, oh, only, parent, said, sarcasm, teen, timer, washing, washing machine
The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

0

5 months ago

buy, coming, humor, hyperfixation, impulse, impulse buy, looking, merch, need, regret, shopping, sobering, sobering up, worst
Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

0

2 months ago

balance, extrovert, humor, introvert, naturally, nature, personality, social
An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

0

6 months ago

attractive, check, communication, DM, easy, flirting, humor, media, message, reply, send, social, social media
I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

0

2 months ago

annoy, change, furniture, home, humor, husband, i, people, rearrange, relationship, tell, things

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Liberté. Egalité. Second Coffeé.

11 shares on Telegram this month:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

I used to be cool, but now I just can’t wait to get on the couch by 7 p.m., in my pajamas, with a quilted blanket.

51 shares on Pinterest this month:

Might lay here until someone draws my chalk outline.

15 shares on Snapchat this month:

The true horror genre: my old Facebook statuses.

72 shares on TikTok this month:

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

41 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Getting ghosted by someone who bothered you in the first place is crazy.

40 shares on Telegram this month:

Super excited for a brand new week of hoping for the best, but expecting the worst.

62 shares on Threads this month:

When a man likes you, he talks to you every day, and apparently, when you start to like him back, he is very busy and can’t talk at all. That’s how it works.

74 shares on Telegram this month:

Look at you with tape over your camera, while Amazon, Facebook, and Google have your whole life on file.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I have an addiction to pattern recognition.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Does anyone know if there’s a career in being a piece of shit?

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

I think I could actually generate electricity with how irritated I get sometimes.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Starting my period on election day because I’m a true patriot who bleeds for this country.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Referring to normal shoes as non-bowling shoes.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

So many true crime podcasts are just like “a young woman went missing, the police took a week to respond, she was last seen with a man the community call Creepy Steve, he has never been questioned”

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

After a quick review of my finances, everyone is going to have to be happy with a forehead kiss for Christmas.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Going bananas on Slack:

My plan is to die young as late as possible.

Just shared via Reddit:

My kids and I have this bit where I say something and they ignore me.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Adulthood will turn Gmail into part of your social media routine.

Just landed via Slack:

My wife screamed “you haven’t listened to a single word I’ve said, have you?!” I was taken aback, what a weird way to start a conversation.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

Just landed via YouTube:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Sarah Connor would be awfully disappointed in us all, letting this Grok into our lives.

Breaking via Twitch:

The single star on Texas’ flag is actually a review.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

University is more like teaching yourself for a class you paid for.

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

Naturally introverted, selectively extroverted.

An easy way to check if you’re attractive: send a “Hey” DM and see if they reply.

I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨