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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Having a crush on a girl makes you think things like, yes, let me make more money.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Every day I ask ChatGPT if it knows where my keys are and if it ever knows the answer, I’m suing everybody.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

How can you not appreciate a drunk text? Someone is absolutely off their face and still thinking of you.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve been locked out of Tinder because of “unusual activity”. I must’ve got a match.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I suck at flirting. I be like “is that so?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone’s gangsta until they spot a double rainbow in the sky.

Making waves on Threads:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Shared recently on Slack:

We are both insane on the web, I think we can make it work.

Shared recently on Telegram:

There’s only one way we’ll at least occasionally get normal elected officials and that’s if we pick them by random lottery.

Going viral on YouTube:

Congrats to my tween for graduating at the top of his class from eye roll university.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Start each day with a positive thought, like: “I can go back to bed in just 17 short hours.”

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Just shared via Messenger:

Got my mind on my money and my money is nowhere to be found.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Sure, I could get off the couch today, but then what?

Breaking via Pinterest:

Refusing to attend my brother’s gambling intervention until they agree to call it a slot shaming.

I get writer’s block responding to people.

1 week ago

Funny Quotes

Funny quote about writer’s block and social interactions, playful and relatable in tone.

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Commentary:
Relatable! My brain just freezes and pretends it's a popsicle! 🍦🧠

block, communication, difficulty, humor, i, interaction, people, responding, response, response difficulty, social, social interaction, writer’s block, writers, writing

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30 shares on YouTube this month:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

14 shares on Discord this month:

At first, big breasts were attractive, then suddenly it was big butts. I’m waiting for it to finally be big bellies.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

No one warned me that being an adult was mostly just hurrying up to get somewhere you don’t want to go in the first place.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

12 shares on YouTube this month:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

64 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My favorite 90s skill: Uninstalling my car stereo and hiding it in my glove box in under 15 seconds.

87 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

When you drink red wine from a cup, it looks like fruit tea and you are also admired by others for your healthy lifestyle.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I am staying up till a million o’clock tonight.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Women love deciding to never talk to you again, and actually do it.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

I miss you when I wake up before you.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Hulk Hogan’s gone, so I’ll be ripping shirts and screaming “BROTHERRR!” at strangers in his honor.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

I could be a masseuse, or I could just be pulling your leg.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Someone needs to invent a theater seat that forcefully ejects you through the roof if you take your phone out during a movie.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Can I come over and shed hair everywhere?

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

If I was God, I would’ve equipped women with venom glands.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has downloaded:

Play the long game? You mean Monopoly?

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

These people act like they’ve never seen anyone wearing a Speedo in a laundromat before.

Just shared via TikTok:

I know breakfastless behavior when I see it.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

Breaking via TikTok:

I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.

Trending via Snapchat:

My phone charger is lying in another room. HELP.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You have hopes and dreams. I have nopes and screams.

Going viral on YouTube:

Happiness is having a large, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

I hope some dyslexic people don’t mail Satan instead of Santa.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get writer’s block responding to people.

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I get writer’s block responding to people.

Keep the laugh going 😂

If you’re happy and you know it, you’re clearly not paying enough attention.

“Bye, have a great day, I’ll see you after school”, I tell the orange in my kid’s lunch.

The lion does not concern himself with divorce papers.

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

My first rodeo and my last rodeo were the same rodeo.

Fellas, be sure to never ask a lady any questions on a date. This makes them feel interrogated. Strong declarative statements only.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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