Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

My favorite dinner is the one made by someone else.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

If you want to impress me with your car, it better be a food truck.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Elections make you feel like we’re all in divorce court waiting to see who gets custody of us.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

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17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Reddit:

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

Live now on Messenger:

Cleaning the kitchen, but saw the laundry, so I watered a plant, and now I’m making a dentist appointment.

Breaking via Telegram:

Sorry, can’t make it, just remembered I don’t want to.

Going bananas on Messenger:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

Trending via WeChat:

I love saying “sounds good” at work, and no shit be sounding good.

Spotted on Slack:

Don’t get horny around me; I’m an empath.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Grammar is the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit.

Trending via WeChat:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Making waves on Telegram:

Lord, please take this gas out of my stomach and put it in my car.

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
Looks like I could use a GPS with the Force to navigate rush hour! 😂🚦✨

advice, dark, dark side, frustration, got, humor, i, Jedi, lot, patience, side, somebody, star, Star Wars, traffic, turned, wars

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Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Reddit this month:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

43 shares on Twitch this month:

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

29 shares on WeChat this month:

That one friend who has a dangerously loose grasp on food safety.

95 shares on TikTok this month:

Dads were right. Walking around with your hands behind your back and looking at everything around with a mild look of disgust and annoyance is so much fun.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Math is like Chinese to me.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

I put the ‘no’ in ‘I will let u know’.

17 shares on Instagram this month:

Tears for Fears: Everybody wants to rule the world. Me: Some of us just want eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.

70 shares on Reddit this month:

Take your days off, these jobs don’t care about you.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m in a long-distance relationship with the stars.

88 shares on Threads this month:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has shared:

Here’s a fun activity you can do with your kids on rainy days when they have too much energy: Go shopping and leave them at home with their dad.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I would only enjoy the Met Gala if at the end of that runway they all walked into a volcano.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

I miss being a kid. Nobody asks what my favorite dinosaur is anymore.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has shared:

When you want to feel at your thinnest, walk through Walmart at any time of day.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Let’s all be grateful for a moment that stupidity is not contagious.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

You know you’re getting old when the radio stations and bars play music you don’t like, but the supermarket is throwing out banger after banger.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

No, I don’t want to read the article first, I want to argue now.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Not to be dramatic, but when I accidentally save a file twice and it adds that (1) at the end, it is the worst moment of my life.

Breaking via X:

I’m the product of too much television and zero supervision.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

We all know that mirrors don’t lie. I’m just very grateful that they don’t laugh.

Spotted on Telegram:

You truly don’t realize how young 20 is until you’re not 20 anymore.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

Spotted on Messenger:

Show dominance by ending the year in bed.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

Trending via Twitch:

Diarrhea awareness week starts today. Runs through Sunday.

Going viral on Discord:

Looking forward to eight hours of trying to get four hours of sleep tonight.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I got a lot of Jedi advice for somebody who could be turned to the dark side by moderate traffic.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Stop eating cakes with the fakes and come eat a bundt with a cundt.

Adults chasing the popularity they missed out on as teenagers are the worst.

The laundromat should give you XP and ranks like “Slimelord” and “Glunkfather,” based on how dirty your clothes are.

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

It’s lowkey nothing else to do except become a better version of yourself, lol.

That moment you turn down the music while driving around looking for a street address, so you can see better.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨