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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Here’s to another day of outward smiles and inward screams.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has shared:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has downloaded:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

I assume my soulmate has sold his soul to the devil.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

If you’re ever intimidated by someone just imagine them opening a Capri Sun.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Getting out of a sports bra looks like it should be a professional women’s sport.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

You know the nap is good when it left you marks.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has viewed:

Imagine earning a science degree then having to be a meteorologist who announces the prophecy of a groundhog.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

54 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

I like when I walk with people and they note that I’m a fast walker. We’re in a race. We’re in a race and you’re losing actually.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Shared recently on WeChat:

My mom: sure use any towel. Also my mom: not that one.

Just landed via Facebook:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Breaking via Messenger:

Instead of making a sound, car alarms that go off at night should blast your name so everyone knows it’s your car.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I always thought that aunts had a lot of money. Until I became one myself.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Breaking via Telegram:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I asked R2D2, and he said you’re a loser.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

The most productive species of beaver is the Eager.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

If I was a star and you were a star, I would wink at you and blink at you and twinkle at you and the earthlings would call it science.

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

2 months ago

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

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Commentary:
Sounds like you've mastered the art of the professional procrastinator! 🕒😅 "I have an appointment at 4pm, so I can't do anything all day" — the perfect excuse to avoid chores and binge-watch your favorite shows instead. 📺🍿 Just remember, even your calendar needs a break from all that *busy* relaxation! 😂✨

4pm, am, anything, appointment, daily, daily routine, day, hate, humor, i, laziness, management, person, procrastination, routine, self-awareness, time, time management, type

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

54 minutes ago

3,430

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

The pointless tidy-up before a play date.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

I heard you like bad girls. Well, I’m bad. At everything.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I can’t watch Sex and the City anymore, because I get really upset at how much money these ladies have.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Got a scam email full of mistakes like they’re not even trying. It won’t be long before AI takes their jobs.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

That strange moment when you are trying to be serious, but then you accidentally smile.

Breaking via Telegram:

Life would be so much easier if you could push a button that makes dickheads fall through a trap door in the floor.

Seen just now on X:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Seen just now on Slack:

The most annoying child in our house is that of my mother-in-law.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Going viral on TikTok:

Proudly doing my part to cause the male loneliness epidemic.

Just shared via X:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Just shared via Telegram:

The sweet potato is the kindest vegetable.

Shared recently on Instagram:

“You’re so funny!” Thanks, I didn’t get laid in high school.

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