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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

I forgot to take my meds so I’m looking forward to joining the squirrels in the tree to talk politics.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Sometimes a lover girl, sometimes a dinosaur.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Marry the man who treats your dumb questions like they’re NASA-level problems.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has shared:

You can be anything. Be the person who ends meetings early.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

To quote Hamlet Act III, Scene III, Line 92 “No.”

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,321

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

Trending via YouTube:

Oh really? We’ll see what the same six people who always agree with me think about that.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean, but the true ones stay like an octopus on your face.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Shared recently on Discord:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Trending via TikTok:

Men used to go to war. Now they say, “Hey, Grok.”

Going bananas on Instagram:

Can’t wait to put up holiday lights so life can be equally crappy but festively so.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Girlhood is taking hundreds of pictures only to post one or none at all.

Spotted on TikTok:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

3 weeks ago

Witty quote about personal finance mishaps, highlighting humor in money management struggles.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
When I realize I was both the victim AND the suspect in my own financial mystery… 🕵️‍♂️💸😂

budgeting, finance, hate, humor, i, lose, math, me, money, personal, personal finance, self blame, spending, where

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Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

11 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Communism sounds good in theory, but doesn’t work in practice.” Capitalism doesn’t even sound good in theory.

26 shares on Slack this month:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m not even doomscrolling anymore; I’m just regular scrolling, and everything’s doomed.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

80 shares on Facebook this month:

Gatekeeping how insanely handsome I am by looking like total shit all the time.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Here’s to a new year of making the same old mistakes, but with far more enthusiasm.

70 shares on Discord this month:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

I saved a ton of money on a security system by stealing my neighbor’s.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has viewed:

Welcome to Twitter: yeah, none of us can sleep either.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I hope I find $10,000 on the floor later.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

You can put refrigerator magnets on your car, too. There are no rules.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

You can’t scare me; you’re not my credit card bill.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

Trending via Messenger:

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

Spotted on Twitch:

Why does tiredness on the couch not follow me to the bed?

Going viral on Messenger:

“I’m at a point in my life where I don’t go anywhere unless I absolutely have to.”

Seen just now on X:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Just landed via Messenger:

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I accidentally clicked on an ad, so I guess I will see that product all over my phone until I’m dead.

Trending via Instagram:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Spotted on Reddit:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate it when I do the math about where my money went, and it all adds up. No one robbed me; I didn’t lose it. It was really all me.

Keep the laugh going 😂

I love that cats slap the shit out of everything they can’t understand.

“Do you like the Microsoft Teams app?” Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

If David Bowie taught us anything, it’s that being a little weird is better than being forgettable.

Normalize arguing with plants who refuse to stay alive.

Every time I talk, it sounds like it’s my first time trying to speak.

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨