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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Penguins are just ducks going to a wedding.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

When I learned the word “literally,” that was the beginning of the end.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I haven’t cleaned my shower in so long, it’s becoming a terrarium. Absolutely gorgeous.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

If white men can’t jump, how do you explain Super Mario?

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Give yourself time to heal. A couple of decades should do it.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Our neighbor complained that our cat is always running through his garden. My father said: “Okay, I’ll tell her.”

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has shared:

My morning coffee makes me feel like I’ve got my shit together. I don’t, but it makes me feel like I do.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Instead of calling it the John I’m going to start calling my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Super excited about a brand new week of self-sabotage.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,916

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Snapchat:

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

Shared recently on Reddit:

We went out on a boat to see whales and the crew encouraged us to clap and cheer for the whales and boo at the regular fish.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

Breaking via Twitch:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Going viral on Reddit:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Just shared via Facebook:

The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.

Just shared via Instagram:

Sorry, I ghosted you. I just felt like you were gonna ghost me, so I did it first.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

It’s so funny how you can meet someone randomly online, and they become such an important part of your life. It’d be nicer if they lived closer, though.

Seen just now on X:

If you like constant interruptions when you’re trying to get something done, then parenting might be for you.

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Karen, if I had that skill, I'd be at Gucci, not grabbing bargains at the Dollar Tree! 👜💰😂"

authenticity, cashier, cashiers, check, counterfeit, counterfeit money, dollar, Dollar Tree, feel, frustration, handling, hate, humor, i, Karen, money, money handling, need, real, shopping, tree

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

0

2 months ago

bad, bad day, day, going, humor, not going, office, procrastination, work
Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

0

2 months ago

humor, irony, poet, poetry, read, reading, thinking, torture
Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

0

4 months ago

age, aging, beanbag, beanbag chair, chair, comfort, getting, getting up, humor, i, learned, old, sit, sitting, things, too, yesterday
Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

0

4 months ago

butterfly, calculations, compatibility, complex, crush, emotion, emotional, flag, humor, love, miss, nostalgia, red, red flag, relationship
Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

0

5 months ago

attitude, fear, humor, know, maybe, Monday, motivation, scared, us, week
Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

0

2 months ago

annoying, comments, enhance, entertainment, experience, humor, i, movie, opinion, people

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

Remember, you don’t have to worry about being around annoying people in public if you never leave the house.

82 shares on YouTube this month:

People be like “I love your energy” – then drain it.

19 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I love Fleetwood Mac, but “thunder only happens when it’s raining” is just not true.

69 shares on Slack this month:

I keep forgetting i’m at the age where people will tell me they’re pregnant and my reaction is supposed to be positive.

70 shares on Threads this month:

Not today, Satan, but next week works.

73 shares on Facebook this month:

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

23 shares on Reddit this month:

I thought the noise my husband’s stomach was making was never going to end last night until I realized it was a motorbike outside.

18 shares on X this month:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

12 shares on X this month:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

A coffee the size of Manhattan please.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

Whenever I go down the stairs next to an escalator, I always move faster than the escalator to prove to the people I made the better decision.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

In the 90s, you could tell who won the rap battle by who was still alive.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Hey bartender, can you turn down the music, please? This guy I just met is trying to explain how baseball works.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has bookmarked:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

This year felt like being awake during surgery.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has viewed:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

I’m an atheist, so if you send prayers, I’ll send thoughts.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Meetings are just podcasts I didn’t choose.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

I actually do check to see if you told me happy birthday before I tell you.

Breaking via Telegram:

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

“Nobody wants to work anymore!” Personally, I have never wanted to work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Shared recently on Reddit:

We are so shocked by “Butthead” that we ignore the strangeness of the name “Beavis”.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I have officially reached the age where I am bothered by lights being on, doors left open, loud noises, and people.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

Spotted on TikTok:

My sleeping pattern isn’t even a pattern anymore. It’s a lifestyle.

Just shared via Discord:

I made all my money in the 80s selling Rubik’s Hammers. They were for those cubes that thought they were smarter than you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Why are poets thinking that they are the ones tortured and not those who read their poetry?

Two things I learned yesterday: I’m not too old to sit in a beanbag chair, but I’m too old to get out of one.

Kinda miss when crushes were butterflies instead of complex emotional calculations about compatibility and red flags.

Maybe Monday is more scared of us than we are of it… we don’t know.

Comments other people make during a movie are annoying. Comments I make during a movie enhance the experience.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨