Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

You never realize what you have until it’s gone. Toilet paper is a good example.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇸🇩 has copied:

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

Someone from 🇸🇦 has shared:

Maybe your soulmate’s just late, like, wildly behind schedule.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I like to do a task by worrying about it for three weeks and then finally dedicating 10 solid minutes to completing it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,307

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WeChat:

A gentle reminder that if your birth year starts with a 19, you should consider wrapping the Christmas presents on a table, and not on the floor.

Trending via WeChat:

The prettier you are, the weirder it gets.

Trending via Facebook:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Breaking via YouTube:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Seen just now on Instagram:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

Spotted on YouTube:

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

Spotted on Slack:

Why would I get married when it’s a well-known fact that only 50% of all marriages end in divorce?

Going bananas on Telegram:

You’re supposed to store a treasure in your cleavage that’s why it’s called a chest.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Gonna spend today following my cats into the kitchen and meowing at them until they give me treats.

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

2 months ago

Funny Quotes

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like my scale is jacked into a lie detector… 🤥🔋➡️🤭📏🚫

again, bathroom, bathroom scale, battery, change, frustration, hate, honesty, humor, i, scale, telling, truth, weight

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

12 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Eating rice with my hands, but not in a political way. In a lazy, fat guy way.

93 shares on X this month:

The show “How I Met Your Mother” was just a really long TED talk.

80 shares on Threads this month:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

71 shares on X this month:

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

71 shares on WeChat this month:

Celebrities should not be allowed to name children.

50 shares on Reddit this month:

My goal is to do one thing each day that could prevent me from being elected to political office.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

74 shares on Slack this month:

My signature move is always learning my lessons the hard way.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about yourself. You can do that on your own.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Please, Tinder, add AI to your app. I don’t want to be involved in the modern dating experience. Let a robot do it for me. Let the machines suffer in our place.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has viewed:

One of the worst ways to waste your youth is by being insecure.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

“I should’ve peed before I left,” will be my epitaph.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I am losing touch with reality and I couldn’t be happier.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Everytime I spend $20 I think this is fine because I won’t do it again. And then would you believe.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

I fall in love with a song and play it until I absolutely don’t wanna hear it no more.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched the argument I baited you with.

Trending via Telegram:

Y’all screenshot payment confirmations to make sure they don’t play with y’all too?

Breaking via Facebook:

We’re all in the billionaire submarine now.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

It must be hard to be a rapper knowing at any moment your enemies may make beautiful poems about you.

Making waves on YouTube:

Obsessed with how Siri just doesn’t work at all, ever.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I don’t understand the desire to rock climb. We have stairs for that now. Problem solved.

Just landed via Threads:

Once your parents move from “What time are you coming back” to “Are you coming back today,” you have won the war.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If they treat you like an option, leave them like a choice, and make your exit as dramatic as a Netflix season finale.

Spotted on Discord:

I never thought I would say this, and it took me a while to come to terms, but I think I ate too much bacon.

Just landed via TikTok:

Way too many low IQ conspiracy theories floating around. Give me high IQ conspiracy theories.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

I miss you when I wake up before you.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I hate when I change the battery in the bathroom scale, and it starts telling the truth again.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Girls only want one thing, and it’s to be photographed candidly on 35mm film.

We all got a little Barbie in us (the microplastics).

It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

I miss you when I wake up before you.

You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

AI is trained on what we write, so if we want to save our jobs we should all write really badly for a while. I’ve been doing my bit for years.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨