Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇲 has bookmarked:

Good morning only to the complexity and uncertainty of everything.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

“Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)” is now 40 years old. If you have an earworm now, you also have back pain.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Is it okay for me to start drinking as soon as the kids are at school, or am I just a terrible teacher?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Maybe your dog is barking at my luggage because he doesn’t enjoy his job, officer.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

My favorite part of Spring is its rolls.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Sometimes I think about starting a podcast and then I remember all I do during conversations is nod.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

I would reset the clock on your microwave for you.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Friends with consequences.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has shared:

People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,326

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

Just landed via Telegram:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Revenge is a dish best served by cutting a sandwich horizontally instead of diagonally.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Time to put the stressful screen away (phone) and switch to the comfort screen (Kindle).

Trending via YouTube:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Shared recently on Reddit:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

My wife called to tell me she saw a fox on the way to work. I asked her how she knew it was on its way to work. She hung up on me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Seen just now on Discord:

One of the kids said, “Camping looks fun,” so tonight we’re watching The Revenant.

Trending via Instagram:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

2 months ago

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Solving mysteries one mistake at a time, but don't worry, I only create the best problems! 🤔✨😅

good, humor, i, problem creating, problem-solving, self-deprecation, shine, skill, skills, where, wit

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Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Discord this month:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

62 shares on Reddit this month:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.

65 shares on Twitch this month:

By the time my CVS receipt finished printing, I was eligible for another prescription refill.

97 shares on Instagram this month:

I feel like I should give my air conditioner a plaque for employee of the month.

45 shares on Facebook this month:

I childproofed my house but the kids still get in somehow.

52 shares on Slack this month:

Just accidentally closed a tab I’ve had been meaning to read for the past 2 years.

71 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is basically introverts gone wild.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

75 shares on WeChat this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

If she doesn’t post you, take her phone, go live and introduce yourself!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

All dogs go to heaven, but I never see them in church.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

A hot tub is basically a big bowl of human soup.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

Sticking googly eyes on a potato and introducing him to everyone as my new boyfriend.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has downloaded:

Have y’all tried calories? They’re so good.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

The tarot lady on my TikTok said that you miss me.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Twitch:

I only write when I am falling in love, or falling apart.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Excuse me, are you gonna finish those fries?” Me, interrupting a couple fighting.

Going viral on Threads:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Just shared via Discord:

Some people stay longer in a toilet than in a relationship.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

My husband has reached an age where he reads the menu out loud. The whole menu. And then he has questions. Please send help.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If you are into coding, pivot to hunting and gathering.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Took a good look at my finances. I won’t make that mistake again.

Just shared via WeChat:

If she says “so just what exactly is THAT supposed to mean”, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

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Activity Log ✨

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have good problem-solving skills, but my problem-creating skills are where I really shine.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

I’m not shy, I’m holding back my awesomeness so I don’t intimidate you.

I don’t know who needs to hear this but you’re not dying, it’s just Monday.

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

If they’re called leggings, why is your stomach in there?

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨