Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I miss when men had big hair, louder feelings, and leaned over cars to declare their love.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Need to win the lottery so I can focus on going to museums and working out.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

My friends have canceled our dinner plans two nights in a row. I’m starting to think they don’t like dinner.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

“Turn down for what?” My ears, fella. My ears.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

There is too much money in the world for me to be broke.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

My milkshakes bring all the bots to the yard.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has viewed:

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Taking a dog named shark to the beach is a bad idea.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,261

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t know how to explain this, but “hot honey” is the pickleball of condiments (derogatory).

Going viral on Pinterest:

You know you’re the father of teen boys when a shoe print on the ceiling no longer fazes you.

Just shared via Twitch:

You are the Monday of my life.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

Just shared via Slack:

Too bad mosquitos are not into human fat the way they are into human blood.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Breaking via Facebook:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’m officially at the age where I hate unnecessary noises and useless friends.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

2 hours ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
This comment section has as much joy as a robot trying to tell dad jokes 🤖😄

commenter, culture, hacker, Hacker News, humor, i, internet, internet culture, joy, life, never, news, read, thread, where

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

0

2 months ago

away, chores, experience, feel, grocery, humor, i, kids, never, parenting, put, recovery, take, today, traumatic, traumatic experience
Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

0

2 months ago

bag, chocolate, confidence, delicious, humor, self-control, snack, temptation
Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

0

2 months ago

call, creativity, crime, direct, FBI, give, Googling, heads, humor, joke, just, line, poison, research, safety, should, someone, story, writers
I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

0

2 months ago

band, excited, excitement, fan, favorite, favorite band, humor, i, listen, live, music, noise, rain, seeing, someone, sound, white, white noise
I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

0

2 months ago

day, die, emotion, exaggeration, going, humor, jealousy
Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

0

2 months ago

brand, choice, choices, excited, humor, life, life choice, new, questioning, reflection, sarcasm, self, self-reflection, super, week

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Telegram this month:

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

20 shares on Messenger this month:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

81 shares on Twitch this month:

You have a bucket list, I have my head in a bucket, we are not the same.

70 shares on WeChat this month:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

37 shares on Twitch this month:

That little stroll to the coffee maker makes me happy every morning.

30 shares on TikTok this month:

Nicole Kidman being in a film called Babygirl is actually perfect cause it’s like another version of her last name.

21 shares on WeChat this month:

Don’t break someone’s heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206 of them.

78 shares on YouTube this month:

Twitter is like talking to yourself in public and some random dude walking by agrees with you.

83 shares on Discord this month:

Elevators frighten me. I take steps to avoid them.

49 shares on Instagram this month:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If there’s no open mouth cougher on the plane they hold the flight until they can find one.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

That awkward moment when you spend an hour online picking out a gift for your friend’s son’s birthday and Amazon tells you it’s been a year since you bought this item.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Just in case you don’t know, it’s “piqued” your interest, not “peaked”.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m at a point in life where I’m just at a point.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

Walking around the art museum and verbally saying, “Banger,” after inspecting a painting.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

Monday again. I just knew this would happen.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

Hey, you wanna come to a wedding with me? You could be the groom.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Missionary, so I can look him in the eyes and ask him why Ashley from work is texting him with heart eyes.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I make sure to post my political opinions after my selfies have gone viral to cull the herd.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Writing is so fun because you get to google things like “woman names”.

Trending via TikTok:

See you when you get home from school, I whisper to my kid’s apple.

Just landed via TikTok:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Shopping is the only exercise I need.

Live now on Reddit:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

They say time is the solution to every problem. I’ve been waiting for five hours already and the room is still messy.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Seen just now on WeChat:

How do you react when you see someone you respect on an e-scooter?

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I say “long story short,” and suddenly we’re in Act III with an intermission.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I have never read a Hacker News thread where any of the commenters seemed as if their life contained joy.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I feel for my kids, who had to take in the groceries and put them away today. They may never recover from this traumatic experience.

Dear resealable chocolate bag, your confidence in my self-control was truly inspiring. And you were delicious.

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

I listen to a lot of white noise, so I get really excited when it rains or someone turns on a fan. It’s like seeing my favorite band live.

I’m going to die from jealousy one day.

Super excited about a brand new week of questioning all my life choices.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨