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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

We go together like coffee and cigarettes.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Who called it a deep freeze instead of ice-o-lation?

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Be the funny, awkward silence breaker you want to see in the world.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

If you don’t buy any snacks, you’re proud for a moment and then incredibly sad.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna meet your family, bring my plate to the car.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

I hate having a ton of anxiety and no energy. It’s like having a tank full of gas and no engine.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,655

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Billionaires didn’t get rich by working harder. They got rich by making sure you work harder, get paid less, and spend more.

Making waves on YouTube:

Withholding sex from you people isn’t working.

Just shared via TikTok:

The mattress in the guest room was perfectly fine until I had to sleep on it once.

Going viral on YouTube:

I think it’s clear that companies making medicine have no idea what fruits taste like.

Going bananas on WeChat:

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Just shared via Telegram:

I did 30 minutes of chores, time for a 7-hour break.

Trending via WeChat:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

It’s not my job to police the internet, but I just saw someone post a recipe for cauliflower cookies and reported them for harmful content.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Spotted on Discord:

Not to brag, but I’ve done nothing for several hours.

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

Witty text about choosing supportive friends over dismissive ones, humorous and playful.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Sounds like a "How can I help" partner is the real MVP, while the "You'll be fine" partner is just there for moral support and snacks 😂🤷‍♂️🍕

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Keep the laugh going 😂

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here eating Nutella from the jar with a spoon.

10 shares on X this month:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

61 shares on Instagram this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

79 shares on TikTok this month:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

39 shares on Reddit this month:

Stores should accept “I bought this while depressed” as a valid reason for a return.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Dear Apple, at no point will I ever text someone “he’ll yeah” ..

98 shares on Reddit this month:

A little mystery is the sweetest seduction.

87 shares on X this month:

I’m writing a book. I’ve got the page numbers done.

82 shares on Discord this month:

My toxic trait is when I’m bored, I start looking for flights to book.

46 shares on X this month:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Fishing for compliments like “I’m a mess in this photo that I took all morning to get the right angle and filter and after 50 selfies this is me”.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If my cats are going to insist upon me getting up early, they’re going to have to learn how to make coffee.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Lowkey terrifying when someone attractive is actually into you, omg.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,422

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

I’m ugly but I can make u laugh.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to a garage makes you a car.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has shared:

I miss when we didn’t know what celebrities thought about anything.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has copied:

Being an adult is a little out of my price range right now.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

The difference between us is that people can peck you and I’m impeccable.

Trending via Threads:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Seen just now on Twitch:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Live now on YouTube:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Making waves on Reddit:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Seen just now on Discord:

Husband said he only wants to allow our kids to watch Looney Tunes and nothing else because of the “moral lessons”.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Meteorologists are always talking about the weather and hardly ever about meteors.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

The hardest part of corporate life is pretending to care about things that don’t matter.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Plot twist: weed is addicted to me.

Spotted on Reddit:

Technically I’m still young, but according to my back pain I’m actually 69.

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