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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

The paintings I always like the most in museums are the ones that have a bench.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Crying at my desk while also finding time to cry in the shower makes for a healthy work-life balance.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has copied:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Why do they have to make things childproof when I’m still functioning at a kindergarten level of dexterity?

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Your twenties are for working towards a life you later won’t want.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

24 minutes ago

3,424

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I keep pressing the space bar, but I’m still on Earth.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Just shared via Threads:

Going to a concert with a tomato in each hand just to make the band nervous.

Trending via Messenger:

No one told me adulthood would require this much multi-factor authentication.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Freshly posted on TikTok:

God knew I would be too powerful if I had conversation skills.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Remember, if you start with, “It’s crazy to think…” you can say whatever you want.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I’m not crazy, I’m just mentally spicy.

Spotted on TikTok:

During winter, it’s either lazy starvation or eight thousand calories in one sitting.

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

6 months ago

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of needing a day between days. 🤔 Maybe we could call it "Someday," where you can relax, recharge, and practice dream teleportation for the day ahead. 💫 Just imagine all the possibilities! Who's ready for a Someday on their calendar? 🗓️🤣

before, coming, day, everyday, exhaustion, humor, i, just, need, prepare, recover, rest, routine, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

808 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,970

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,970

24 minutes ago

3,440

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

I want to sleep but my brain won’t stop talking to itself.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Going viral on X is like winning a lotto during the apocalypse.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

Hope this email finds you moonwalking out of work early.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

People who don’t have a dishwasher, where do they bang their shins?

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Everybody thinks “Free Hugs” signs are cute, unless you’re a boa constrictor.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

“What’s love?” Grandma sliding money into my hand like a drug dealer. Yeah, man, that’s love.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

I’d like to meet the person who decided that if you wanted to get married fast, it had to be done by Elvis.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Think I’ll get high enough to find out if there’s a God. Stay tuned.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Facebook:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Freshly posted on Discord:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Breaking via Reddit:

Don’t go keto, go pirate. Rum, fish and beef jerky diet.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Making waves on Telegram:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

Just landed via Telegram:

We need to stop making more Christmas music. We have enough.

Live now on Reddit:

Welcome to your 50s… A new pain will be be assigned to you shortly.

Freshly posted on Threads:

My personal brand is being the guest at a wedding who can’t dance but puts in a noticeable effort.

Going viral on Slack:

“Gravy is not a beverage.” Okay, well that’s why I was trying to drink it in the bathroom, so you wouldn’t see me.

Going viral on Messenger:

Listen kid, I have social media profiles older than you.

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