Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Ah, the ever-optimistic taxpayer 🛣️. Don't worry, you might actually see those roads fixed by the time hover cars become mainstream 🚗✨ #TaxpayerDreams"

day, expectation, fix, humor, i, irony, joke, just, paid, payment, road, should, ta, tax

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

0

2 months ago

activity, discomfort, drinking, favorite, fun, hobby, humor, i, making, people, sarcasm, still, swearing, time, uncomfortable
Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

0

2 months ago

better, check, Christmas, getting, gift, holiday, hope, humor, list, media, naughty, Santa, social, social media, therapy, us, wish, wish list
Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

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2 months ago

comedy, confidence, Funny, humor, know, much, resilience, self-deprecating, trauma
I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

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2 months ago

carefully, communication, gift, going, humor, i, irony, manage, say, still, thing, think, think carefully, truly, wrong, wrong thing
I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

0

2 months ago

appearance, casual, confidence, day, humor, impressed, just, public, self-image, ugly
Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

0

2 months ago

desire, food, humor, sacrifice, sell, soul, temptation

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

41 shares on Messenger this month:

Every girl has a dude in her inbox talking to himself.

15 shares on Reddit this month:

Once my school teacher lectured me for unacceptable behavior. That’s 30 mins of sleep I am never getting back

31 shares on Instagram this month:

My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I need to go to jail for a while to catch up on all my reading.

14 shares on Facebook this month:

My middle finger salutes you.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Growing old is a process of saying “it’s probably nothing,” with increasing frequency and increasingly being wrong.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

“Be the bigger person” sounds too much like “accept the disrespect”.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m about to start telling people, “As long as that makes sense to you,” when they say shit that doesn’t make sense to me.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

A marriage is about solving problems together, you know, those problems you wouldn’t have if you were single.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

Current state of politics: The circus is on fire but the monkey is fine.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Not to brag, but I don’t fight with people on the internet.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

If you want to make God laugh, inhale some helium then tell Him your plans.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Twitter is just a diary I choose to show to strangers.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

If someone steals your joke, you have to file a LOLsuit.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

When people don’t drink coffee, it’s like, okay, but how do you solve the problem of being awake?

Someone from 🇹🇯 has shared:

Superwoman: Single. Batman: Single. Wonder Woman: Single. I get it now, I’m single because I’m a superhero.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m not an alcoholic, I only drink twice a year. When it’s sunny, and when it isn’t.

Making waves on Reddit:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Just landed via WeChat:

The Netflix “Recommended For You” list is why I have trust issues.

Spotted on Threads:

Adulting is making a phone call, even though you don’t want to.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just paid my taxes. The roads should be fixed any day now.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

I still make time for all my favorite hobbies, like drinking, swearing, and making people feel uncomfortable.

Some of us better hope Santa doesn’t check social media, because if he does, all we’re getting for Christmas is therapy.

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

I think carefully about what I’m going to say and I still manage to say the wrong thing. It’s truly a gift I have.

I’m just impressed by how ugly I’m willing to look in public these day.

Whenever I’m willing to sell my soul, there’s usually food involved.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨