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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

I wish I could physically experience the inside of a lava lamp.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to your fifties. Saturday Night Fever now means lots of rest, cold medicine, and chicken noodle soup.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

As you get older, nothing loses its sting more than an authority figure saying they are disappointed in you. Like, I don’t know what to tell you, dude, we can’t both live in the prison of your expectations.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

I need a massage for my brain.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

A fun thing to do on a first date is wear a wedding dress.

Just shared via WeChat:

I think it’s very sexy of me to still move with love in a world like this.

Going viral on WeChat:

No more ragebaiting around me, please. Let’s try joybaiting, perhaps even lovebaiting.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I’m just a Whole Foods girl on a Walmart budget.

Just landed via Slack:

And so ends another week without me getting rich unexpectedly.

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
As long as his middle name isn't "Mond," we're safe from a truly dreadful start to the week! 😅🎶

celebrity, hope, humor, i, joke, just, music, name, real, The Weeknd, Weeknd, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

2 months ago

day, early, humor, humor quote, i, lifestyle, morning, motivation, over, procrastination, start, waking, waking up
Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

2 months ago

backfire, fatigue, humor, me, morning, morning struggle, relatable, sleep, struggle, times, waking, waking up
Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

2 months ago

analogy, cheese, food, held, humor, identity, just, lasagna, much, point, self-deprecation, together
I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

2 months ago

card, cards, credit, credit card, finances, humor, i, joke, limit, spending, too
I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

2 months ago

checkbox, found, frustration, humor, login, me, memory, never, nothing, remember, technology, works
Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

2 months ago

activity, dawn, drink, duel, dusk, good, haunt, humor, lover, lovers, morning, night, only

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone who got my kids board games for Christmas, when are you coming back to play with them?

51 shares on Slack this month:

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

86 shares on Telegram this month:

My favorite genre of tweet is conservative guy asking Grok, ‘Is this true?’ and then arguing with it when it doesn’t give him the answer he likes.

68 shares on Twitch this month:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

92 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’re in first class on a flight, sometimes they upgrade you to captain.

22 shares on WeChat this month:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

11 shares on Snapchat this month:

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

69 shares on Snapchat this month:

Can someone please just give me a participation trophy for making it through today, please?

95 shares on Discord this month:

My son was praying for “everybody in the world.” If you suddenly start experiencing good fortune, you’re welcome.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

To anybody I hurt this year, I just wanna say you deserve it. Stop playing with me.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

People remind me everyday why I prefer being on my own.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

I wish men had sluttier outfit options. Because why am I in a mini skirt, and you’re in a quarter zip?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

You know what brought my home value up? Not having an angry man in it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

If a stranger starts talking to me in an elevator I say “I don’t want to talk in case we get stuck and I have to eat you” that usually shuts them up.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

To the tune of ‘Everybody Dance Now’: Himalayan Sea Salt

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Might start a YouTube channel “will it hurt if I drop it on my foot”.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Once you love wide-leg pants, there is no going back from that.

Trending via Twitch:

I wonder if the scariest moment ever in history has happened yet.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Going viral on Threads:

Lazy Rule: Can’t reach it, don’t need it.

Making waves on Messenger:

Cooking with glasses on is so humiliating. Why did I just get blinded by steam?

Just shared via Facebook:

You know it’s bad when people start telling you that you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Keep the laugh going 😂

The day I start waking up early it’s over for you all.

Waking up has backfired on me so many times.

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

I get it, credit cards, I’ve reached my limit too.

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

Good morning only to those who duel at dawn, drink at dusk, and haunt their lovers in between.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨