Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

All arguments are solvable. The trick? Get naked.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

What song lyric resonates with you the most? Mine is “we’re tiny, we’re toony, we’re all a little loony”

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has bookmarked:

You look like the kind of person whose recorded calls have been used for training purposes.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

I went to a mind reader. She almost went mad.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has downloaded:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Your hoodie strings are uneven. Go home and get your shit together!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

When I die, throw me on Mount Everest so it looks like I was trying to do something.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

643 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,236

Funny Quotes Topics

17,359

Funny Quotes Images

15,236

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,978

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Seen just now on WeChat:

“Try it all before you die” is always drugs and sex, never quantum physics.

Just shared via Instagram:

Can’t wait to get past this phase of my life. I need to see what all of this was for.

Trending via Discord:

All quiet on the frontal lobe.

Trending via Threads:

Most men will receive their first bunch of flowers at their funeral.

Live now on Telegram:

Rudolph’s bright red nose would not have done anything to improve Santa’s visibility in dense fog.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Website: We use cookies to improve our performance. Me: Same!

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Every marriage has a personality hire, and then someone who knows how insurance works.

Spotted on Slack:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
As long as his middle name isn't "Mond," we're safe from a truly dreadful start to the week! 😅🎶

celebrity, hope, humor, i, joke, just, music, name, real, The Weeknd, Weeknd, wordplay

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

0

3 weeks ago

anyone, effort, else, hard, humor, motivation, noticed, observation, procrastination, reluctance, task, things, want
So many mistakes to make, so little time.

0

2 months ago

decision, humor, irony, life, little, mistake, mistakes, opportunity, procrastination, time
I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

0

2 months ago

annoyance, being, dude, gym, hate, humor, i, nap, sleep, treadmill, used, waking, workout
Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

0

2 months ago

apology, attempt, bad, dating, flirt, flirting, humor, humor attempt, i, interaction, joke, social, social interaction, sorry, trying
My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

0

5 months ago

amount, appreciate, effort, extrovert, family, humor, introvert, kid, kids, me, never, parenting, social, social effort
There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

0

5 months ago

humor, people, physiology, reason, rude, rudeness, simply, sneeze, weakness, yell

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

36 shares on Threads this month:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

65 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

98 shares on Reddit this month:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

42 shares on Messenger this month:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

56 shares on Slack this month:

Going to ragebait men by asking, “Do you ever wish you were tall?”

64 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m at the gym and I just saw someone put their water bottle in the Pringles holder on the treadmill.

46 shares on Twitch this month:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

67 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m convinced that if Earth explodes, all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.

51 shares on Telegram this month:

God, I’m not trying to rush you for my soulmate; but could I get the tracking number?

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Considering joining a cult just for the subsidized housing.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Nightmares are so embarrassing. Why is my anxiety working the night shift?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

In my opinion, those who go jogging on a Sunday morning certainly don’t have a comfortable sofa.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Ironically, the Internet was invented to save time.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I respect the moon because it controls three of our most precious entities: oceans, wolves & women.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I like listening to podcasts because it’s basically getting to enjoy a conversation without having to participate in it.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via TikTok:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Making waves on Twitch:

I giggle before I go crazy. Gotta start my engine.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Going viral on X:

My lip gloss used to be poppin’, now it’s my knees.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Brains are awesome. I wish I had one.

Spotted on Facebook:

Whitening my teeth by getting a tan.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One day you said w00t for the last time, and didn’t even realize.

Spotted on Reddit:

I made soup while whispering “He was never mine,” like it’s 1893, and I just lost my beloved to a duel.

Breaking via Slack:

Can we get some A.I. to pick plastic out of the ocean, or do all the robots need to be poets?

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I just really hope The Weeknd’s real name isn’t Mnday.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

So many mistakes to make, so little time.

I absolutely hate being woken from a nap. There were other treadmills in the gym that dude could have used.

Sorry, I laughed at your bad joke. I was trying to flirt.

My kids will never appreciate the amount of extroverting the introvert me does for them.

There is no physiological reason to yell when you sneeze. People who do that are simply weak and rude.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨