Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has viewed:

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Is it stupid and irresponsible? Yes. Will it make me happy? Also yes.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. My catapult malfunctioned.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Everyone loves a little silent treatment on the weekend.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,657

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Your odds are greater of being killed by a coconut rather than a shark and this is exactly why I don’t swim in coconut-infested waters.

Going viral on Threads:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Knowing I’ve been called crazy, but never ugly, is how I sleep at night.

Making waves on Messenger:

Most insane people live outside of madhouses.

Seen just now on X:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Trending via Snapchat:

I love saying “my man” and not his name, so when I get a new one, nobody knows.

Going viral on Snapchat:

My favorite condiment is Worcestershire sauce. Why? It’s hard to say.

Just landed via Slack:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Live now on Slack:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Spotted on TikTok:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

2 months ago

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Commentary:
When Mother Nature becomes a sassy pen pal 😂🌧️📡️

code, communication, frustration, humor, i, insomnia, learned, me, morse, Morse code, myself, rain, sleep, swear, swear word, telling, word

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

38 shares on X this month:

Pretty girls don’t compete. We sit pretty, count blessings, and ignore weird energy.

33 shares on Telegram this month:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

15 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The problem is that younger me didn’t account for the fact that there’d be an older me.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

It was the worst of times, it was the worst of times.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

26 shares on Twitch this month:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

42 shares on YouTube this month:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

100 shares on Messenger this month:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

Chill, folks, it’s just a simulation.

29 shares on TikTok this month:

Want to come over and lay around naked, eating grapes like we’re in a Renaissance painting.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nobody bools anymore. In high school, everyone was booling.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Can hardly wait until my winter fat turns into spring rolls.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, I’m full of microplastics, but it’s actually been helpful. It’s given me superpowers. I can communicate with Tupperware.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

For a long time, I didn’t know what to do with my strange thoughts. Then I signed up for Facebook.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Sisters are so important. How else would my mom find out all the stuff I didn’t want her to know.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: See that kid dressed up like a cop? He is a cop.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so self-aware!” Thanks, it’s ruining my life.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not really a “glass half full” kind of person. I’m more of a “Where’d I put my glass?” kind of person.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,600

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Never going into a job interview nervous again, because, wow, it is literally a free invitation to talk about how amazing I am.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Life is short, unless you’re listening to a kid describing an episode of PAW Patrol.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Vote for me and I’ll remove all the calories from cheese.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

My favorite kind of gender reveal is the one where the parents find out, and they just tell everyone through text instead of making me go to a party.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

I am one step away from being rich, all I need now is money.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate when teachers put “?” on my work, like I don’t know either.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Adulting has stunned me into silence. I have no thoughts, no remarks and no commentary at the moment.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a food that sounds good for dinner tonight.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

My employer is totally caring. They pay so poorly that I can’t afford to have an alcohol or drug problem.

Spotted on Instagram:

We need to stop telling AI that it’s paintings are bad. That’s how Hitler got started.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Laziness is the art to rest before one gets tired.

Spotted on Reddit:

Don’t worry, baby, the back pain is because your wings are growing.

Seen just now on Slack:

It feels like a million o’clock right now.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

Just shared via WeChat:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Going viral on Instagram:

No matter how sad their story is, don’t let anybody move into your house.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Only in America can a kid wear $150 shoes, sip a $8 coffee, and post from a $1,200 phone about being oppressed and claiming capitalism has failed them.

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