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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

“Slipping in the shower and trying to hold on to the water jet…” Shall I tell you more about myself?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has copied:

With all the fake information out there, I refuse to believe scales or mirrors.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

So it turns out that being an adult is mostly just Googling how to do stuff.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Why would I finish my thought when I could have a new, more exciting one?

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

The bad news is I forgot to wear my spaghetti-eating shirt. The good news is I have a new spaghetti-eating shirt.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

3,815

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m dying for some sweets and the only thing sweet in the house is me.

Making waves on Instagram:

No one declines an incoming call faster than a 3-year-old watching YouTube.

Making waves on Facebook:

Having a Bible verse in your bio doesn’t make you a good person.

Breaking via Telegram:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

Just shared via WeChat:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Trending via YouTube:

If you’re riding in my car, that little middle piece is for my elbow — not yours.

Seen just now on Slack:

Haven’t seen a single bikini photoshoot in the snow this year; the girls are tired.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.

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I learned Morse code, and then I couldn’t sleep because the rain kept telling me to go fuck myself.
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Commentary:
When Mother Nature becomes a sassy pen pal 😂🌧️📡️

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Threads this month:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

27 shares on Threads this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever received reassurance without asking for it?

47 shares on TikTok this month:

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

60 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Somebody somewhere today don’t know it’s their last day with all 10 fingers.

36 shares on Instagram this month:

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

26 shares on Telegram this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Just gave my boyfriend an incorrect direction in the car, and he sighed and muttered to himself, “Never assign to malice what can be attributed to incompetence.”

22 shares on X this month:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Kiss me like you’re trying to damn my soul and save it in the same breath.

10 shares on WeChat this month:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Trending Topics 📁

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Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m waiting for inspiration to hit me… should be here any time now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Still can’t believe America has a federal holiday to celebrate the hit movie Independence Day.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey beauty brands who make face creams: 30ml is only enough for an ant’s face.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

To horses, hay is considered both a bed and breakfast.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am a full grown adult. Now listen to me discuss the various plot holes in Paw Patrol.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Tonight, my poor liver has to pay again for what went wrong during the week.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m surviving motherhood, one teenage meltdown at a time.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I noticed my mouse problem is back an I yelled at my cats for being lazy and not doing their job, like I was in a Tom and Jerry cartoon.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it still murder if they said, “Some other time,” but I thought they said smother time?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,055

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

The lion does not concern himself at all. The lion is depressed.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

Does everyone’s inner monologue have a laugh track?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

People will name their dog Steve and have two kids named Buddy and Rocket.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when someone is doing the dishes, and you slowly put your dish in the sink.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

There should be a day between Sunday and Monday called Hang on a Second.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

Technically mixed martial arts can include tickle fighting.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Making waves on Snapchat:

First date idea: we search for each other’s criminal history together.

Making waves on Twitch:

Village life is when you send two kids out to play and six kids come back hungry.

Just landed via Twitch:

Caffeine: the adult version of fairy dust.

Making waves on Slack:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Imagine you and me as cows in Switzerland, enjoying the view and saying “moo” every day.

Going viral on WeChat:

My hobbies include saying, “I’m so tired,” and then staying up for three more hours doing nothing.

Making waves on Reddit:

Why can’t men just call you pretty without wording it uncomfortably?

Making waves on Telegram:

Never forget that, just a couple of years ago, people were justifying paying $20,000 for a JPEG of an ape.

Just landed via Slack:

If a beer is 8 bucks, it’s a show. If a beer is 14 bucks, it’s a concert.

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